Stories in the Dark-Barry Pain

I must have a pause of a few weeks in between the two different lives.

I saw the advertisement of the lodgings in this farmhouse in an evening paper that somebody had left at the restaurant.

That was when I was trying to make the change abruptly, and I may as well make a note of what happened.

after attending the funeral, which seemed to me an act of hypocrisy, as I hardly knew the man.

But it was expected of me.

I came back to my Charlotte street rooms and had tea.

I slept well that night.

Then next morning I went to the office at the usual hour in my best clothes, and with a deep band still on my hat.

I went to Mr. Toler's room and knocked.

He said, "'Come in.' And after I had entered, "'Can I do anything for you? What do you want?' Then I explained to him that I had wished to leave at once.

He said, This seems sudden after thirty years' service.

Yes, I replied, I have served you faithfully for thirty years, but things have changed, and I have now three hundred a year of my own.

I will pay something in lien of notice, if you like, but I cannot go on being a clerk any more.

I hope, Mr. Toler, you will not think that I speak with any impertinence to yourself or any immodesty, but I am really in the position of a private gentleman." He looked at me curiously, and as he did not say anything I repeated, I think I am in the position of a private gentleman.

In the end he let me go, and said very politely he was sorry to lose me.

i said good-bye to the other clerks even to those who had sometimes laughed at what they imagined to be my peculiarities i gave the better of the two office boys a small present in money i went back to the charlotte street rooms but there was nothing to do there there were figures going on in my head and my fingers seemed to be running up and down columns i had a stupid idea that i should be in trouble if mr toller were to come in and catch me like that i went out and had a capital lunch and then i went to the theatre i took a stall right in the front row and sat there all by myself then i had a cab to the restaurant it was too soon for dinner so i ordered a whisky and soda and smoked a few cigarettes the man at the table next to me left the evening paper in which i saw the advertisement of these farmhouse lodgings i read the whole of the paper but i have forgotten it all except that advertisement and i could say it by heart now all about bracing air and perfect quiet and the rest of it for dinner i had a bottle of champagne the waiter handed me a list and asked which i would prefer i waved the list away and said give me the best he smiled he kept on smiling all through dinner until the end then he looked serious he kept getting more serious then he brought two other men to look at me They spoke to me, but I did not want to talk.

I think I fell asleep.

I found myself in my rooms in Charlotte Street next morning, and my landlady gave me notice because she said I had come home beastly drunk.

Then that advertisement flashed into my mind about the bracing air.

I said, I should have given you notice in any case.

This is not a suitable place for a gentleman.

June 3rd.

I am rather sorry that I wrote down the above.

It seems so degrading.

However, it was merely an act of ignorance and carelessness on my part.