Jul 17, 2026 · 44 min · 10 segments
What if the messages you received about sexuality shaped you more than you ever realized? In this third episode of my series, I explore how decades of cultural and religious teachings affected the way…
He absorbed the same 100-year history of teachings, just shaped a little bit differently for a boy.
He read The Miracle of Forgiveness because his bishop told him that every prospective missionary should.
He went to bishop's interviews starting at age 12, where he got asked every six months very specific questions about whether he had done very specific things with his body.
He learned that masturbation was serious enough sin to delay his mission, that pornography would destroy his eternal future, and that his body had a factory that made stuff that needed to be controlled, and that he was responsible not just for his own thoughts, but also for what his sisters and the women around him might trigger in him.
And like every boy who grew up inside it, he developed coping strategies for the parts of his body and his desire that the system told him were dangerous.
He started masturbating at around 12, like many boys do, and the cycle started immediately.
The act itself, then the shame, then the confession, then the relief, then doing it again.
The bigger shame, then the confession was harder the next time, then the bishop saying he couldn't pass the sacrament for a few weeks, then the feeling of being separated from God, then the eventual return to worthiness, and then doing it all again.
He absorbed the same 100-year history of teachings, just shaped a little bit differently for a boy.
He read The Miracle of Forgiveness because his bishop told him that every prospective missionary should.
He went to bishop's interviews starting at age 12, where he got asked every six months very specific questions about whether he had done very specific things with his body.
He learned that masturbation was serious enough sin to delay his mission, that pornography would destroy his eternal future, and that his body had a factory that made stuff that needed to be controlled, and that he was responsible not just for his own thoughts, but also for what his sisters and the women around him might trigger in him.
And like every boy who grew up inside it, he developed coping strategies for the parts of his body and his desire that the system told him were dangerous.
He started masturbating at around 12, like many boys do, and the cycle started immediately.
The act itself, then the shame, then the confession, then the relief, then doing it again.
The bigger shame, then the confession was harder the next time, then the bishop saying he couldn't pass the sacrament for a few weeks, then the feeling of being separated from God, then the eventual return to worthiness, and then doing it all again.
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