Better Sex Starts Here: How to Ask For Exactly What You Want

So now that you know what you want to discuss, let's talk about the actual talk itself.

Here's where a lot of couples get tripped up.

A lot of people think they need to talk about sex in the bedroom, and this just makes things way more complicated.

Think about if it was you and your partner was trying to explain something while you're already naked, aroused, vulnerable, your mind might go into, you know, the negative.

And now rather than hear what they're actually saying, you're wondering, well, what did you do wrong? So I always like to tell clients the best sexual conversations happen when you're nowhere near the bedroom.

Ladies, do you have any other tips here when it comes to having this talk?

Yeah, Nicole, I agree with you that the conversation should never happen in the bedroom.

Or, I mean, I know it does sometimes, right? But I would strongly urge people to stay away from the bedroom and go on a walk, have it over breakfast or dinner, literally anything but in the bedroom naked.

Unless it's a negotiation, which should happen before you do anything, which is a different topic, I think.

But I digress.

Yeah.

Keep it out of the bedroom, folks.

It's so loaded, isn't it? To have that conversation in the bedroom when you're both are vulnerable and naked.

And then, yeah, it's, I agree.

Stay out from the bedroom in all the conversation, move it to the couch, watch some steamy Netflix movies and series you can watch together and And then you can just like, ooh, I like that.

So that's one of the tips I give my clients.

Yeah, show your partner the scenes that you like maybe if you're not...

Or even talk about exploring different activities like workshops.

There are some... interesting workshops around like sensual massages workshop for couples or even spice things up like visiting a sex shop together.

I think it's just creating that activities that can spark up some interests.

I third the idea of moving these conversations out of the bedroom unless it's a meet like a positive debrief.

I think Right after sex is part of pillow talk.

It's really a sweet moment to at least share what we liked about the experience.

And then we can save sort of the critiquing and asking for more or less of things outside the bedroom in a full conversation.

But my favorite go-to tip is to invite my clients to choose conversation cards.

So now that you know what you want to discuss, let's talk about the actual talk itself.

Here's where a lot of couples get tripped up.

A lot of people think they need to talk about sex in the bedroom, and this just makes things way more complicated.

Think about if it was you and your partner was trying to explain something while you're already naked, aroused, vulnerable, your mind might go into, you know, the negative.

And now rather than hear what they're actually saying, you're wondering, well, what did you do wrong? So I always like to tell clients the best sexual conversations happen when you're nowhere near the bedroom.

Ladies, do you have any other tips here when it comes to having this talk?

Yeah, Nicole, I agree with you that the conversation should never happen in the bedroom.

Or, I mean, I know it does sometimes, right? But I would strongly urge people to stay away from the bedroom and go on a walk, have it over breakfast or dinner, literally anything but in the bedroom naked.

Unless it's a negotiation, which should happen before you do anything, which is a different topic, I think.

But I digress.

Yeah.

Keep it out of the bedroom, folks.

It's so loaded, isn't it? To have that conversation in the bedroom when you're both are vulnerable and naked.

And then, yeah, it's, I agree.

Stay out from the bedroom in all the conversation, move it to the couch, watch some steamy Netflix movies and series you can watch together and And then you can just like, ooh, I like that.

So that's one of the tips I give my clients.

Yeah, show your partner the scenes that you like maybe if you're not...

Or even talk about exploring different activities like workshops.

There are some... interesting workshops around like sensual massages workshop for couples or even spice things up like visiting a sex shop together.

I think it's just creating that activities that can spark up some interests.

I third the idea of moving these conversations out of the bedroom unless it's a meet like a positive debrief.

I think Right after sex is part of pillow talk.

It's really a sweet moment to at least share what we liked about the experience.

And then we can save sort of the critiquing and asking for more or less of things outside the bedroom in a full conversation.

But my favorite go-to tip is to invite my clients to choose conversation cards.