Jul 23, 2026 · 1 hr 8 min · 11 segments
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My pregnant girlfriend has been lying about her age for our entire relationship.
Is there any way for me to trust her again? And we have a 31 male OP, 23 female girlfriend.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year.
When we met, I was 30 and she said she was 25.
I'm 31 now and she's been pretending to be 26 for about four months.
We literally celebrated what she said was her 26th birthday, and she referred to it as her 26th birthday.
The age gap is fucked.
I don't think the age gap that he thought it was was fucked.
Like, I think a 30-year-old and a 25-year-old is fine.
Me personally.
At 25, you should be able to make those decisions for yourself.
I don't really blame OP here.
Don't get me wrong, I need to know more about this fucking birthday.
Like, how in the hell did she keep this ruse going? You know what I'm saying? Is she just extremely isolated, has no family and friends who like called her and were like, happy 23rd birthday? You know what I'm saying, you guys? She's 10 weeks pregnant, but she found out a month ago.
She only told me about it not even three weeks ago because she was supposedly nervous about my reaction.
She was on birth control.
Whatever the ring is that is inserted.
It goes up the vaheen to release estrogen and progestin to stop ovulation and prevent pregnancy.
Okay, interesting.
Sarby learned something new today.
Thank you, Chad.
I know she's being truthful about that because I've seen it and it's even come out of her by accident before.
I didn't know that was one.
That's wild.
Honestly, I'm gonna be so real.
Maybe actually, you know what? I shouldn't say that.
Every woman reacts to birth control differently.
But that's crazy that it can just like fall out of you.
I'm unsure about us having a kid right now.
We've been together a year and we don't even live together.
spends most of her time at my place, but she doesn't actually live here.
I guess I also took the risk by not using condoms, but I've been in other relationships where we've just relied on birth control and it was fine.
I do use condoms, it's just that after we'd been together a while, we decided we were comfortable enough to just use the birth control.
I'm nervous about the idea of us having a baby, and I told her I wasn't sure a relationship of a year is really the ideal stable thing to be bringing a baby into.
And she's been saying she knows, but she just doesn't think she can't not have it.
And she cries and makes me feel bad.
I'm not trying to leave this all on her and I will take responsibility.
That's not really what this is about.
I mean, I agree with OP.
Like, not the time to be having a kid.
Especially after what you are about to learn about her that we already know of because of the title.
She usually talks on the phone on speakerphone.
She walks around holding her phone with it on speaker like they do on all the reality shows so you can hear everything being said.
I find it really annoying.
I don't want to listen to her full conversation she has with people.
She was talking to her mom and sort of stressing about being pregnant, and her mom said, I can't believe you're going to have a baby at 23.
You're too young.
Or something along those lines.
All I really heard was the 23 part.
I was like, wait, what the fuck? I sat there silently waiting for her to get off the phone, and then I immediately asked her why her mom said she was 23.
She just looked at my surprised face like she didn't know what to say.
And I don't even think she registered that her mom had said that.
when I was right there hearing the whole thing.
Your own mom doesn't get your age wrong by three whole years.
She looked annoyed and also like she was going to cry and said she was really 23 and that she only lied because she found out my age first and thought I wouldn't take her seriously if she told me she was 22.
That's so funny because that's exactly why you shouldn't take someone who's 22 serious.
You know what I'm saying? Like making that immature of a mistake right off the rip is like, yeah, girl, you were probably right about that.
She was 22 when we met and that 26th birthday we celebrated was really her 23rd.
I just stared at her for the longest time because I didn't even know what to say.
She's right, I probably wouldn't have entered into a relationship with a 22 year old.
A hookup maybe, but not a full blown relationship.
I don't know about that one, chief.
I feel like such an idiot.
I didn't think I could be this stupid.
I've dated many other women that were usually my age up to just a few years younger than me.
I know there's not a huge difference in number of years between 22 and 25, but 22 just makes me feel weird.
Maybe she seemed a little immature for somebody in their mid 20s, but she has her own apartment, an actual job.
She graduated college and has been lying about the exact year this whole time.
I mean, I think you're not focusing enough on the fact that she lied to you and then kept that lie up for a year.
Like, even if the pregnancy is exactly as OP explained of like, it was an accident, she didn't want it to happen.
Like, I would be doubting that.
I'd be like, okay, so you just lied to me for a year about your age.
How do I know that you're not lying that you are intentionally trying to get pregnant so that I'm baby trapped with you? Bro, I was gonna have PTSD after this checking everyone's IDs.
I mean, shit, if this happened to me, I'd be like, first date, show me the fucking ID.
Yeah, she seemed a little younger than me, but I figured, oh, I guess this is what it's like to date someone five years younger.
She doesn't seem like somebody who just graduated college.
She presents herself like she has a little more experience than that and acts a little more mature.
Or I thought she did.
I mean, does she just like not have friends? That's what I'm wondering.
Were her friends in on this ruse? What the fuck? She says she wanted to tell me a bunch of times, but got scared once more time went on.
She keeps apologizing and saying she loves me and doesn't want to lose me.
I don't know why, but somehow I feel bad.
Like I've taken advantage of her or something.
I know I shouldn't feel bad at all.
Yeah, that's on her, bro.
Like, don't get me wrong.
I think your instincts mostly were right about not dating a 22 year old when you're 30, but like you didn't know.
How were you supposed to make the right decision when you didn't know? I guess I just can't get over the fact that she's been lying about it for a year, like actively changed info about her life to fit this lie.
I still like who she is.
By that I mean that even though I know her real age now, it doesn't change anything else that actually attracts me to her or that I like about her.
It feels wrong to be like, oh, just because you're 23, I don't like you anymore.
It's the lie I guess that bothers me more, even though the age difference also makes me feel like a creep.
No, bro, I think that is what you should really hyper fixate on.
It's like that lie is crazy.
To think about it, your whole relationship is based upon a lie.
It makes me wonder what else she told me was a lie.
Was she even on birth control when she got pregnant? I know she was on it at one point in our relationship, but was she on it when she actually got pregnant? I wasn't doubting her at all before, but now I don't know.
I'm not someone who would ever jump to someone baby trapping me.
That's not something I ever thought would come out of my mouth.
You have sex, you take the risk, and regardless of birth control, I played a part, but it just makes me feel so much more sick than I already felt over the idea of having a baby right now.
I may not have a choice, but to be involved with her for a very long time to come, I think the better way to put this sentence is, I may not have a choice, but to be involved with her for a really long time is just freaking me out, all of it.
Maybe I'm overreacting, I don't think it was malicious on her part, but I just can't believe she kept it up for so long.
What, if anything, could ever be done to build trust here again? Is there any way for this to move forward? Okay, so my initial thought is like, I think the only way that she could ever have been redeemed here is if she got pregnant and was like, okay, since we're talking about bringing this baby to term, I have to let you know right now that I've been lying to you.
But the fact that she was prepared to keep lying to you as long as she could is raising the red flag for me.
That is insanely sketchy.
I think you should be worried about her lying more to you.
Even if she's not, I think your default should be like, if you can lie to me every single day for a year about your age, what else could you lie to me about? Yeah, it would have come out of the doctors.
They always ask about your date of birth.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's crazy, bro.
What the fuck? There are a lot of cases of people faking pregnancies to term and sometimes kidnapping babies at the end to keep lying about it.
Like, holy shit.
It can't be that serious, bro.
It really can't.
No dick can be that good.
I'm sorry.
What are the comments saying? I dated this guy when I was 18.
He told me he was in his early 20s, but as the relationship was fizzling out two years later, I found out he was actually in his late 20s.
I also found out that he'd been lying about a lot of things, including his birthday, where he was from, etc.
Weird shit.
If it was easy for her to lie about something so insignificant, I would just make sure there aren't more lies in the relationship before settling down with someone.
I agree with that, especially if you guys are going to have a kid.
Just absolutely not.
Oh, people are asking, do you know for sure she's pregnant? And OP replied, I've seen two pregnancy tests and an ultrasound with her name printed on it.
I mean, shit, bro.
Come on, bro.
Do we want to fucking do this real quick? Like I'm simplifying it, but like, Chad, I'm pregnant.
You're the father.
Congratulations on the baby, Sarby.
Thank you guys.
Thank you guys so much.
I think it's time to dive to the update.
She had a doctor appointment today and I went along.
She had already invited me before her real age came out and I started doubting everything else she had told me.
She's actually pregnant.
According to her doctor, she's 12 weeks, one day pregnant, which lines up with what she told me before.
Her due date is really December 20th.
They didn't do an ultrasound today.
Apparently, there's an optional one that can be done around this point to look for abnormalities, but she doesn't have any risk factors, so her insurance doesn't cover it.
It turns out she actually is still on her parents' insurance.
I mean, insurance is expensive, so like, good for her, but damn.
I was also able to have a much more serious conversation with her about the age lie.
I tried to explain that the issue isn't really the number itself at this point.
At first, I was very focused on the number because many people will think it's gross and they won't know or believe that I didn't really know her age for an entire year.
Now it's really just that she maintained the lie for over a year.
She let me believe she was older when we met, celebrated a fake birthday, and made up all these little micro lies to go along with the fake age, including when she graduated, etc.
I want her to realize why I can't believe anything she tells me now.
I don't want to doubt her, and I'm not one that's going to be having sex with somebody and immediately jump to your baby trapping me.
I hate when guys do that.
All right, fair, good for him.
I just can't believe anything she says, no matter how big or small.
She tells me her favorite ice cream is chocolate, and I'm convinced that's a lie.
She said she understands.
She was only thinking about the present when she told me she was 25 and didn't think long-term.
She didn't know how to get out of the lie, and she realized she'd eventually have to tell me, but she couldn't figure out how.
Hmm.
Maybe just being honest and saying all of that without me having to find out the truth from overhearing her conversation with her mom.
She says she understands why I have trouble trusting her now and that she's willing to do whatever it takes to prove she isn't lying about anything else.
I asked her to just come clean with anything that I didn't know.
Now's her chance.
She told me this isn't the first time she's been pregnant.
When she was 19 and in college, she got pregnant after a one night stand.
She took Plan B the next morning, but it didn't work and she had an abortion shortly afterward.
I actually don't think that one's that bad.
I feel like that one would be tough to communicate to a partner.
I understand that one.
She said one of the reasons she's struggling so much with this pregnancy is that she doesn't want to be someone who has multiple abortions.
She told me she's embarrassed that she's had two unintentional pregnancies and feels a lot of shame around it.
I don't know if shame is the right way to put it, but you might want to change your birth control method.
You know? Maybe encourage your partner to wear more condoms, but other than that, I don't think you should be ashamed about it.
She also insists she didn't get pregnant on purpose and that she doesn't really want to be pregnant now.
But she wasn't as shocked to find out she was pregnant as she originally claimed to be.
She wasn't using her birth control ring perfectly.
She told me there were times when she forgot to replace it on schedule and sometimes wouldn't put a new one in until a day or two after she was supposed to.
So while she was technically using birth control, she wasn't always using it correctly.
Okay, that's pretty irresponsible of you, dog.
I can't lie.
She had been telling me she had absolutely no idea she could be pregnant and was panicking because she didn't know whether she was six weeks pregnant or four months pregnant.
The truth is that before she took the pregnancy test, she was already worried she might be pregnant because she knew she had messed up her birth control schedule.
So if I'm counting correctly, that's at least two more lies.
Her explanation for both was basically embarrassment.
She wasn't as shocked to find out she was pregnant as she originally claimed to be.
That's one of the lies.
Is the other lie about getting the abortion? Cause like, I wouldn't even call that a lie.
Yeah, Chad, I guess this raises a really interesting question.
Like we would go really hard on a guy.
For example, I don't know if this would really ever happen, but like if a guy ever was like telling his girlfriend that he had a condom on when he really didn't, you know, like if he got her pregnant from that, we would rag on the guy pretty heavily.
I low key.
kind of want to rag on her too like it is a little bit different and like i'm not trying to take away the fact that women's birth control fucking sucks compared to a condom like i don't want to take that away but like it was implied that she had birth control when they were having sex but she clearly didn't yeah having sex with someone knowing their birth control might not be as effective as serious shit that's how i feel too ella like i think op should really be honing in on that as well as the lies So if I'm counting correctly, that's at least two more lies.
Her explanation for both was basically embarrassment.
She said she didn't want to admit that she had made some mistakes and that the pregnancy might have happened because she screwed up.
On one hand, I can see how what she's saying could all be true.
I genuinely think she lied about her age and it went on too long and she didn't know how to get out of it.
Doesn't make it right, but I don't think there's any deeper reason for why she did it.
I feel better knowing she's actually pregnant, yet not better all at the same time.
Just glad to know she wasn't lying about being pregnant, because that would be entering deranged territory.
Her real age doesn't even change all the things I really like about her.
I don't think she's some evil mastermind who has been plotting to trap me.
I'm doing okay for myself, but there are better men out there to trap.
What I see is someone who seems willing to lie when she's scared, embarrassed, or worried about how she'll be perceived.
The problem is that those are exactly the situations where honesty matters the most.
I still care about her.
Finding out she's 23 instead of 26 didn't suddenly make me stop caring about her as a person.
Now she seems pretty set on having this baby.
And I'm not one of those stay together for the kids type of people.
But I keep thinking that if all of this stuff about her age hadn't come up, I wouldn't be making moves to leave her.
OK, but like all the stuff coming up about her age is revealing who you're actually dating.
Yeah, you wouldn't be making moves to leave her because you didn't know her actual character.
you knew the character that she was lying about.
Our relationship had been great and had already been moving towards getting more serious before any of this happened.
I guess now I'm trying to figure out whether this is a person who made one bad decision that snowballed out of control, or if dishonesty is simply how she deals with difficult situations.
At this point, I'm less interested in whether her lies were understandable and more interested in what I should be looking for going forward.
If someone has a pattern of lying when they're embarrassed, scared, or worried about being judged, what signs indicate they're actually working on that behavior rather than just apologizing for it? I realize I might be an idiot for giving this a try and not breaking up with her immediately, but I just don't want to go into it being a completely blind, deaf, and dumb idiot.
Ugh, I mean, honestly, here's my thing.
If you guys weren't about to have a fucking kid, I would tell you to leave her.
Like, why is it your job to take that gamble on like, if she is going to not lie about shit when she gets embarrassed in the future? Especially about something that like, if you had known the truth, you probably wouldn't have engaged in this relationship.
I don't know, y'all.
Like, I'm a little bit of a sucker for, like, if you guys have a kid involved, assuming that they can, like, go to couples therapy, figure this out, and the girlfriend improves, I think it would be better for the kid if mom and dad were together.
Now, that's just me assuming that they could work through this, but, like, I low-key also don't think OP understands that what his girlfriend did to him, and you guys were saying this in chat, is low-key sexual assault, you know? And, like, that also comes with the issue that they are currently at hand in, which is she was young and immature and the immaturity manifested in this girl lying about her age, but then also not being on top of her birth control.
What are the comments saying, bro? I just want to see.
My first husband lied to me about his age.
He was several years older than he claimed to be.
For several years, and I found out right before our wedding.
I married him anyways because I didn't feel like I could back out.
We got divorced because he was a compulsive liar.
Dishonesty is clearly how she deals with difficult situations.
Consider how many you just uncovered because she was forced to.
What choice does she have other than to act as though she has remorse? Don't do this to yourself." Yeah, her age is really showing with all these lies and mistakes.
I agree.
Oh, this is actually something I didn't really touch on that I also kind of agree.
Like she admitted she doesn't really want to be pregnant now, but she doesn't want to be a person who has two abortions.
What a terrible reason to bring life into the world.
I agree.
I apologize.
I forgot to elaborate on that.
Really fucked up reason to bring a kid into this world.
OP said nobody's judging her for it except herself.
I tried telling her nobody needs to know.
It's not like she has to wear a sign around her neck announcing it.
She says she wasn't an adult the first time and she couldn't raise a baby, but now she's more of an adult and has no excuse to get an abortion.
You don't need an excuse.
I would agree with that.
And to be fair, I think we can't dismiss the fact that maybe she's fucking lying.
Maybe she's lying about not wanting to be the person who has had two abortions.
Like that could just be her excuse of like why she isn't getting an abortion when she really should.
There is so much pressure about women having or not having abortion, especially in this political climate.
I agree with you, Judas, but kind of like OP said, you don't have to tell anybody, you know? And like, I'll stand on bidness.
Like, don't get me wrong, this girl should have been more responsible.
Like, I'll stand on that.
I can comfortably say, like, I'm not a huge fan of people just getting abortions because they're like using it as birth control or because they're like not responsible with birth control.
But like anybody should be able to get an abortion if they think that they need one, because bringing a kid into this world shouldn't be just like, oh, yeah, sure, whatever.
Like that's never how bringing a kid in the world should be, especially with where the world's at right now.
We're like, this shit sucks.
A kid is expensive.
If you're not prepped to adequately raise that kid and you're not excited to have the kid, don't bring it into the world.
I stand on business with that.
I think as much as this could be something that you guys resolve, I think you're just better off cutting it off with her and then just being like, hey babe, if it were up to me, you'd get the abortion.
It doesn't sound like you want the kid.
I don't think you should have that pressure there.
Also, time is kind of running out.
like you really want this kid it just sounds like you don't want to be the person that's had two abortions but like that's not a good reason to bring in a kid in the world if you don't really want it and like i do want to address the fact that like with women birth control is definitely different than guys like a lot more of the burden there is on you guys and like while that should be factored in i still think it's important to know if you're a woman with birth control and you forget to do it or something happens where like you are at risk of getting pregnant you should tell your partner so that you guys can make the right moves I got an IUD because I can't trust myself to maintain anything else correctly.
I'm gonna be so honest with you, K-Lava.
I respect you for that.
So I don't think we can blanket statement that.
But like, I empathize with you because I take my ADHD meds and I can't even fucking remember to take that.
It's on my bedside table and I still fucking forget sometimes.
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My pregnant girlfriend has been lying about her age for our entire relationship.
Is there any way for me to trust her again? And we have a 31 male OP, 23 female girlfriend.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year.
When we met, I was 30 and she said she was 25.
I'm 31 now and she's been pretending to be 26 for about four months.
We literally celebrated what she said was her 26th birthday, and she referred to it as her 26th birthday.
The age gap is fucked.
I don't think the age gap that he thought it was was fucked.
Like, I think a 30-year-old and a 25-year-old is fine.
Me personally.
At 25, you should be able to make those decisions for yourself.
I don't really blame OP here.
Don't get me wrong, I need to know more about this fucking birthday.
Like, how in the hell did she keep this ruse going? You know what I'm saying? Is she just extremely isolated, has no family and friends who like called her and were like, happy 23rd birthday? You know what I'm saying, you guys? She's 10 weeks pregnant, but she found out a month ago.
She only told me about it not even three weeks ago because she was supposedly nervous about my reaction.
She was on birth control.
Whatever the ring is that is inserted.
It goes up the vaheen to release estrogen and progestin to stop ovulation and prevent pregnancy.
Okay, interesting.
Sarby learned something new today.
Thank you, Chad.
I know she's being truthful about that because I've seen it and it's even come out of her by accident before.
I didn't know that was one.
That's wild.
Honestly, I'm gonna be so real.
Maybe actually, you know what? I shouldn't say that.
Every woman reacts to birth control differently.
But that's crazy that it can just like fall out of you.
I'm unsure about us having a kid right now.
We've been together a year and we don't even live together.
spends most of her time at my place, but she doesn't actually live here.
I guess I also took the risk by not using condoms, but I've been in other relationships where we've just relied on birth control and it was fine.
I do use condoms, it's just that after we'd been together a while, we decided we were comfortable enough to just use the birth control.
I'm nervous about the idea of us having a baby, and I told her I wasn't sure a relationship of a year is really the ideal stable thing to be bringing a baby into.
And she's been saying she knows, but she just doesn't think she can't not have it.
And she cries and makes me feel bad.
I'm not trying to leave this all on her and I will take responsibility.
That's not really what this is about.
I mean, I agree with OP.
Like, not the time to be having a kid.
Especially after what you are about to learn about her that we already know of because of the title.
She usually talks on the phone on speakerphone.
She walks around holding her phone with it on speaker like they do on all the reality shows so you can hear everything being said.
I find it really annoying.
I don't want to listen to her full conversation she has with people.
She was talking to her mom and sort of stressing about being pregnant, and her mom said, I can't believe you're going to have a baby at 23.
You're too young.
Or something along those lines.
All I really heard was the 23 part.
I was like, wait, what the fuck? I sat there silently waiting for her to get off the phone, and then I immediately asked her why her mom said she was 23.
She just looked at my surprised face like she didn't know what to say.
And I don't even think she registered that her mom had said that.
when I was right there hearing the whole thing.
Your own mom doesn't get your age wrong by three whole years.
She looked annoyed and also like she was going to cry and said she was really 23 and that she only lied because she found out my age first and thought I wouldn't take her seriously if she told me she was 22.
That's so funny because that's exactly why you shouldn't take someone who's 22 serious.
You know what I'm saying? Like making that immature of a mistake right off the rip is like, yeah, girl, you were probably right about that.
She was 22 when we met and that 26th birthday we celebrated was really her 23rd.
I just stared at her for the longest time because I didn't even know what to say.
She's right, I probably wouldn't have entered into a relationship with a 22 year old.
A hookup maybe, but not a full blown relationship.
I don't know about that one, chief.
I feel like such an idiot.
I didn't think I could be this stupid.
I've dated many other women that were usually my age up to just a few years younger than me.
I know there's not a huge difference in number of years between 22 and 25, but 22 just makes me feel weird.
Maybe she seemed a little immature for somebody in their mid 20s, but she has her own apartment, an actual job.
She graduated college and has been lying about the exact year this whole time.
I mean, I think you're not focusing enough on the fact that she lied to you and then kept that lie up for a year.
Like, even if the pregnancy is exactly as OP explained of like, it was an accident, she didn't want it to happen.
Like, I would be doubting that.
I'd be like, okay, so you just lied to me for a year about your age.
How do I know that you're not lying that you are intentionally trying to get pregnant so that I'm baby trapped with you? Bro, I was gonna have PTSD after this checking everyone's IDs.
I mean, shit, if this happened to me, I'd be like, first date, show me the fucking ID.
Yeah, she seemed a little younger than me, but I figured, oh, I guess this is what it's like to date someone five years younger.
She doesn't seem like somebody who just graduated college.
She presents herself like she has a little more experience than that and acts a little more mature.
Or I thought she did.
I mean, does she just like not have friends? That's what I'm wondering.
Were her friends in on this ruse? What the fuck? She says she wanted to tell me a bunch of times, but got scared once more time went on.
She keeps apologizing and saying she loves me and doesn't want to lose me.
I don't know why, but somehow I feel bad.
Like I've taken advantage of her or something.
I know I shouldn't feel bad at all.
Yeah, that's on her, bro.
Like, don't get me wrong.
I think your instincts mostly were right about not dating a 22 year old when you're 30, but like you didn't know.
How were you supposed to make the right decision when you didn't know? I guess I just can't get over the fact that she's been lying about it for a year, like actively changed info about her life to fit this lie.
I still like who she is.
By that I mean that even though I know her real age now, it doesn't change anything else that actually attracts me to her or that I like about her.
It feels wrong to be like, oh, just because you're 23, I don't like you anymore.
It's the lie I guess that bothers me more, even though the age difference also makes me feel like a creep.
No, bro, I think that is what you should really hyper fixate on.
It's like that lie is crazy.
To think about it, your whole relationship is based upon a lie.
It makes me wonder what else she told me was a lie.
Was she even on birth control when she got pregnant? I know she was on it at one point in our relationship, but was she on it when she actually got pregnant? I wasn't doubting her at all before, but now I don't know.
I'm not someone who would ever jump to someone baby trapping me.
That's not something I ever thought would come out of my mouth.
You have sex, you take the risk, and regardless of birth control, I played a part, but it just makes me feel so much more sick than I already felt over the idea of having a baby right now.
I may not have a choice, but to be involved with her for a very long time to come, I think the better way to put this sentence is, I may not have a choice, but to be involved with her for a really long time is just freaking me out, all of it.
Maybe I'm overreacting, I don't think it was malicious on her part, but I just can't believe she kept it up for so long.
What, if anything, could ever be done to build trust here again? Is there any way for this to move forward? Okay, so my initial thought is like, I think the only way that she could ever have been redeemed here is if she got pregnant and was like, okay, since we're talking about bringing this baby to term, I have to let you know right now that I've been lying to you.
But the fact that she was prepared to keep lying to you as long as she could is raising the red flag for me.
That is insanely sketchy.
I think you should be worried about her lying more to you.
Even if she's not, I think your default should be like, if you can lie to me every single day for a year about your age, what else could you lie to me about? Yeah, it would have come out of the doctors.
They always ask about your date of birth.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's crazy, bro.
What the fuck? There are a lot of cases of people faking pregnancies to term and sometimes kidnapping babies at the end to keep lying about it.
Like, holy shit.
It can't be that serious, bro.
It really can't.
No dick can be that good.
I'm sorry.
What are the comments saying? I dated this guy when I was 18.
He told me he was in his early 20s, but as the relationship was fizzling out two years later, I found out he was actually in his late 20s.
I also found out that he'd been lying about a lot of things, including his birthday, where he was from, etc.
Weird shit.
If it was easy for her to lie about something so insignificant, I would just make sure there aren't more lies in the relationship before settling down with someone.
I agree with that, especially if you guys are going to have a kid.
Just absolutely not.
Oh, people are asking, do you know for sure she's pregnant? And OP replied, I've seen two pregnancy tests and an ultrasound with her name printed on it.
I mean, shit, bro.
Come on, bro.
Do we want to fucking do this real quick? Like I'm simplifying it, but like, Chad, I'm pregnant.
You're the father.
Congratulations on the baby, Sarby.
Thank you guys.
Thank you guys so much.
I think it's time to dive to the update.
She had a doctor appointment today and I went along.
She had already invited me before her real age came out and I started doubting everything else she had told me.
She's actually pregnant.
According to her doctor, she's 12 weeks, one day pregnant, which lines up with what she told me before.
Her due date is really December 20th.
They didn't do an ultrasound today.
Apparently, there's an optional one that can be done around this point to look for abnormalities, but she doesn't have any risk factors, so her insurance doesn't cover it.
It turns out she actually is still on her parents' insurance.
I mean, insurance is expensive, so like, good for her, but damn.
I was also able to have a much more serious conversation with her about the age lie.
I tried to explain that the issue isn't really the number itself at this point.
At first, I was very focused on the number because many people will think it's gross and they won't know or believe that I didn't really know her age for an entire year.
Now it's really just that she maintained the lie for over a year.
She let me believe she was older when we met, celebrated a fake birthday, and made up all these little micro lies to go along with the fake age, including when she graduated, etc.
I want her to realize why I can't believe anything she tells me now.
I don't want to doubt her, and I'm not one that's going to be having sex with somebody and immediately jump to your baby trapping me.
I hate when guys do that.
All right, fair, good for him.
I just can't believe anything she says, no matter how big or small.
She tells me her favorite ice cream is chocolate, and I'm convinced that's a lie.
She said she understands.
She was only thinking about the present when she told me she was 25 and didn't think long-term.
She didn't know how to get out of the lie, and she realized she'd eventually have to tell me, but she couldn't figure out how.
Hmm.
Maybe just being honest and saying all of that without me having to find out the truth from overhearing her conversation with her mom.
She says she understands why I have trouble trusting her now and that she's willing to do whatever it takes to prove she isn't lying about anything else.
I asked her to just come clean with anything that I didn't know.
Now's her chance.
She told me this isn't the first time she's been pregnant.
When she was 19 and in college, she got pregnant after a one night stand.
She took Plan B the next morning, but it didn't work and she had an abortion shortly afterward.
I actually don't think that one's that bad.
I feel like that one would be tough to communicate to a partner.
I understand that one.
She said one of the reasons she's struggling so much with this pregnancy is that she doesn't want to be someone who has multiple abortions.
She told me she's embarrassed that she's had two unintentional pregnancies and feels a lot of shame around it.
I don't know if shame is the right way to put it, but you might want to change your birth control method.
You know? Maybe encourage your partner to wear more condoms, but other than that, I don't think you should be ashamed about it.
She also insists she didn't get pregnant on purpose and that she doesn't really want to be pregnant now.
But she wasn't as shocked to find out she was pregnant as she originally claimed to be.
She wasn't using her birth control ring perfectly.
She told me there were times when she forgot to replace it on schedule and sometimes wouldn't put a new one in until a day or two after she was supposed to.
So while she was technically using birth control, she wasn't always using it correctly.
Okay, that's pretty irresponsible of you, dog.
I can't lie.
She had been telling me she had absolutely no idea she could be pregnant and was panicking because she didn't know whether she was six weeks pregnant or four months pregnant.
The truth is that before she took the pregnancy test, she was already worried she might be pregnant because she knew she had messed up her birth control schedule.
So if I'm counting correctly, that's at least two more lies.
Her explanation for both was basically embarrassment.
She wasn't as shocked to find out she was pregnant as she originally claimed to be.
That's one of the lies.
Is the other lie about getting the abortion? Cause like, I wouldn't even call that a lie.
Yeah, Chad, I guess this raises a really interesting question.
Like we would go really hard on a guy.
For example, I don't know if this would really ever happen, but like if a guy ever was like telling his girlfriend that he had a condom on when he really didn't, you know, like if he got her pregnant from that, we would rag on the guy pretty heavily.
I low key.
kind of want to rag on her too like it is a little bit different and like i'm not trying to take away the fact that women's birth control fucking sucks compared to a condom like i don't want to take that away but like it was implied that she had birth control when they were having sex but she clearly didn't yeah having sex with someone knowing their birth control might not be as effective as serious shit that's how i feel too ella like i think op should really be honing in on that as well as the lies So if I'm counting correctly, that's at least two more lies.
Her explanation for both was basically embarrassment.
She said she didn't want to admit that she had made some mistakes and that the pregnancy might have happened because she screwed up.
On one hand, I can see how what she's saying could all be true.
I genuinely think she lied about her age and it went on too long and she didn't know how to get out of it.
Doesn't make it right, but I don't think there's any deeper reason for why she did it.
I feel better knowing she's actually pregnant, yet not better all at the same time.
Just glad to know she wasn't lying about being pregnant, because that would be entering deranged territory.
Her real age doesn't even change all the things I really like about her.
I don't think she's some evil mastermind who has been plotting to trap me.
I'm doing okay for myself, but there are better men out there to trap.
What I see is someone who seems willing to lie when she's scared, embarrassed, or worried about how she'll be perceived.
The problem is that those are exactly the situations where honesty matters the most.
I still care about her.
Finding out she's 23 instead of 26 didn't suddenly make me stop caring about her as a person.
Now she seems pretty set on having this baby.
And I'm not one of those stay together for the kids type of people.
But I keep thinking that if all of this stuff about her age hadn't come up, I wouldn't be making moves to leave her.
OK, but like all the stuff coming up about her age is revealing who you're actually dating.
Yeah, you wouldn't be making moves to leave her because you didn't know her actual character.
you knew the character that she was lying about.
Our relationship had been great and had already been moving towards getting more serious before any of this happened.
I guess now I'm trying to figure out whether this is a person who made one bad decision that snowballed out of control, or if dishonesty is simply how she deals with difficult situations.
At this point, I'm less interested in whether her lies were understandable and more interested in what I should be looking for going forward.
If someone has a pattern of lying when they're embarrassed, scared, or worried about being judged, what signs indicate they're actually working on that behavior rather than just apologizing for it? I realize I might be an idiot for giving this a try and not breaking up with her immediately, but I just don't want to go into it being a completely blind, deaf, and dumb idiot.
Ugh, I mean, honestly, here's my thing.
If you guys weren't about to have a fucking kid, I would tell you to leave her.
Like, why is it your job to take that gamble on like, if she is going to not lie about shit when she gets embarrassed in the future? Especially about something that like, if you had known the truth, you probably wouldn't have engaged in this relationship.
I don't know, y'all.
Like, I'm a little bit of a sucker for, like, if you guys have a kid involved, assuming that they can, like, go to couples therapy, figure this out, and the girlfriend improves, I think it would be better for the kid if mom and dad were together.
Now, that's just me assuming that they could work through this, but, like, I low-key also don't think OP understands that what his girlfriend did to him, and you guys were saying this in chat, is low-key sexual assault, you know? And, like, that also comes with the issue that they are currently at hand in, which is she was young and immature and the immaturity manifested in this girl lying about her age, but then also not being on top of her birth control.
What are the comments saying, bro? I just want to see.
My first husband lied to me about his age.
He was several years older than he claimed to be.
For several years, and I found out right before our wedding.
I married him anyways because I didn't feel like I could back out.
We got divorced because he was a compulsive liar.
Dishonesty is clearly how she deals with difficult situations.
Consider how many you just uncovered because she was forced to.
What choice does she have other than to act as though she has remorse? Don't do this to yourself." Yeah, her age is really showing with all these lies and mistakes.
I agree.
Oh, this is actually something I didn't really touch on that I also kind of agree.
Like she admitted she doesn't really want to be pregnant now, but she doesn't want to be a person who has two abortions.
What a terrible reason to bring life into the world.
I agree.
I apologize.
I forgot to elaborate on that.
Really fucked up reason to bring a kid into this world.
OP said nobody's judging her for it except herself.
I tried telling her nobody needs to know.
It's not like she has to wear a sign around her neck announcing it.
She says she wasn't an adult the first time and she couldn't raise a baby, but now she's more of an adult and has no excuse to get an abortion.
You don't need an excuse.
I would agree with that.
And to be fair, I think we can't dismiss the fact that maybe she's fucking lying.
Maybe she's lying about not wanting to be the person who has had two abortions.
Like that could just be her excuse of like why she isn't getting an abortion when she really should.
There is so much pressure about women having or not having abortion, especially in this political climate.
I agree with you, Judas, but kind of like OP said, you don't have to tell anybody, you know? And like, I'll stand on bidness.
Like, don't get me wrong, this girl should have been more responsible.
Like, I'll stand on that.
I can comfortably say, like, I'm not a huge fan of people just getting abortions because they're like using it as birth control or because they're like not responsible with birth control.
But like anybody should be able to get an abortion if they think that they need one, because bringing a kid into this world shouldn't be just like, oh, yeah, sure, whatever.
Like that's never how bringing a kid in the world should be, especially with where the world's at right now.
We're like, this shit sucks.
A kid is expensive.
If you're not prepped to adequately raise that kid and you're not excited to have the kid, don't bring it into the world.
I stand on business with that.
I think as much as this could be something that you guys resolve, I think you're just better off cutting it off with her and then just being like, hey babe, if it were up to me, you'd get the abortion.
It doesn't sound like you want the kid.
I don't think you should have that pressure there.
Also, time is kind of running out.
like you really want this kid it just sounds like you don't want to be the person that's had two abortions but like that's not a good reason to bring in a kid in the world if you don't really want it and like i do want to address the fact that like with women birth control is definitely different than guys like a lot more of the burden there is on you guys and like while that should be factored in i still think it's important to know if you're a woman with birth control and you forget to do it or something happens where like you are at risk of getting pregnant you should tell your partner so that you guys can make the right moves I got an IUD because I can't trust myself to maintain anything else correctly.
I'm gonna be so honest with you, K-Lava.
I respect you for that.
So I don't think we can blanket statement that.
But like, I empathize with you because I take my ADHD meds and I can't even fucking remember to take that.
It's on my bedside table and I still fucking forget sometimes.
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