Why Avoiding Conflict Can Destroy a Relationship | Adam Lane Smith: #183

You know, I have learned through the years of doing this that I can deliver a very dry academic explanation, or I can try to teach with a pale imitation of what our Lord did.

So I'm going to begin with what Lord Jesus did.

He taught through stories.

I want you to imagine that you're a young child.

You grow up not in a house.

You grow up in a cobbled together house.

building of plywood two by fours just leaned on each other that is constantly collapsing in on you that you have to endlessly try to prop back up.

Your parents sort of halfway through your childhood give up and just leave the pile in rubble and you have to live the rest of your childhood hiding under little piles of plywood as you can.

Now you can see beautiful houses far off in the distance.

So you know that houses exist, but you have no idea what they look like on the inside.

You have no idea how they're built.

You've never seen a functioning ceiling that was actually level and not collapsing on your head.

You have no clue.

Now you turn 18 and your parents say, cool, go build your own home.

And you wander off into the forest.

Are you going to know how to build a functional house all on your own? Do you think that's likely? This is what most people are doing today.

The issue is not just you grow up in a family cycle where your family is angry and yelling and, yes, maybe drinking.

Yes, there are problems.

You might learn negative behaviors.

But the vast majority of people can get through those negative behaviors.

The vast majority of people can come back to the gospel.

Learn how to conduct themselves and at least try to move through.

But if you've never seen the inside of a standing home and you don't know how they're built, there's almost zero chance you're going to be able to build your own house that isn't just a cobbled together pile of scrap metal and plywood.

It's the skills that are missing.

It's how you communicate with each other.