Should You Worry About What Your Child Wears And Listens To?

Look, adolescence is a time when kids are trying to answer one of the biggest questions of their lives.

Who am I? Famous psychological researcher Eric Erickson's theory of psychosocial development lists the ages of 12 to 18 as identity formation, or simply put, discovering who am I? To answer this question, your son or daughter needs to try on many different styles of everything.

Our kids will experiment with different clothing styles, different hairstyles, different music, different belief systems, different attitudes, different values, different goals.

They'll consider different careers.

They'll talk differently.

They'll try out different slang or try swearing in front of you.

The list goes on and on and on.

You might feel like you're losing your kid, but you're really getting ready to meet the version two of your son or your daughter on the backside of adolescence.

You just have to sustain the ride without completely losing it.

Now, here's the craziest part.

The more you dig in, rebuff, prohibit, or forbid them, the longer they will take to arrive at who they are, and you're stagnating their development when it comes to identity formation.

We all tried on different everythings growing up through middle school and high school.

Do you remember yours? Do you remember what your experiences were? I sure remember mine.

I went through so many different stages as a teen and preteen.

In middle school, I had to have all the surf gear and the vans that all the other kids had.

I dyed my hair blonde without my parents' permission in eighth grade.

I dumped so much Drakkar Noir on myself during those times that my parents actually threw it out because they couldn't take the smell of me in the car anymore.

In ninth grade, I had this ethnic stage where I was wearing cross colors and I was listening to gangster rap.

That lasted about a year.

And after that, I realized that wasn't me.

So I changed it up.

It was my decision.

In 10th grade, I wanted an earring.

My parents wouldn't allow it.

Eventually, I pushed a piercing stud through my ear.

Look, adolescence is a time when kids are trying to answer one of the biggest questions of their lives.

Who am I? Famous psychological researcher Eric Erickson's theory of psychosocial development lists the ages of 12 to 18 as identity formation, or simply put, discovering who am I? To answer this question, your son or daughter needs to try on many different styles of everything.

Our kids will experiment with different clothing styles, different hairstyles, different music, different belief systems, different attitudes, different values, different goals.

They'll consider different careers.

They'll talk differently.

They'll try out different slang or try swearing in front of you.

The list goes on and on and on.

You might feel like you're losing your kid, but you're really getting ready to meet the version two of your son or your daughter on the backside of adolescence.

You just have to sustain the ride without completely losing it.

Now, here's the craziest part.

The more you dig in, rebuff, prohibit, or forbid them, the longer they will take to arrive at who they are, and you're stagnating their development when it comes to identity formation.

We all tried on different everythings growing up through middle school and high school.

Do you remember yours? Do you remember what your experiences were? I sure remember mine.

I went through so many different stages as a teen and preteen.

In middle school, I had to have all the surf gear and the vans that all the other kids had.

I dyed my hair blonde without my parents' permission in eighth grade.

I dumped so much Drakkar Noir on myself during those times that my parents actually threw it out because they couldn't take the smell of me in the car anymore.

In ninth grade, I had this ethnic stage where I was wearing cross colors and I was listening to gangster rap.

That lasted about a year.

And after that, I realized that wasn't me.

So I changed it up.

It was my decision.

In 10th grade, I wanted an earring.

My parents wouldn't allow it.

Eventually, I pushed a piercing stud through my ear.