Oct 5, 2026 · 25 min · 10 segments
Grief doesn’t always arrive when you expect it—or look the way you thought it would. It can sneak into ordinary moments, surprise you years later, and change parts of you that you never saw coming. In…
So I guess I'll go into, like, the backstory of what kinda made my own little therapist light bulb go off.
And at first, I say, "At first," it was a, it was a legitimate factor where I had, like, a strain on a lower back muscle.
And so I went back to my PCP, and I was like, "Hey, like, my back is doing significantly better, but I really don't wanna be taking Flexeril," which is a muscle relaxer, "just to go to sleep at night if I don't actually need that." She said, "Absolutely understand it." Wrote me a script for hydroxyzine, which I will say has worked fantastically for my insomnia.
Um, and then I see my GYN every December for an annual, and I was telling him about everything, and he was like, [smacks lips] "You know, you've been diagnosed with hypothyroidism for almost a decade now.
I wonder if it's Hashimoto's." 'Cause in addition to the insomnia, you know, hopefully this is not TMI, but I feel like it's all women, and we talk about, you know, postpartum and all the things here.
Like, my cycles were just off as far as, like, the flow and things of that nature.
Um, and so he was like, "You know, let's test you for Hashimoto's." My labs came back beautiful, which you're like, "Whitney, you should be happy about that." I'm like, "It is such a double-edged sword of, like-"
... yay, I don't have Hashimoto's, but also what is going on with me? To the point where I was like, "Well, am I in perimenopause?" Like, what is going on? And so fast-forward to June, so just a couple of months ago, saw my PCP, and I'm like, "Hey, loving the hydroxyzine.
It's going great for me." Um, you know, definitely noticed the insomnia worse about two to three days before my period, so again, feeling like it's a hormone influenced situation.
Um, and I said, you know, "Maybe it's my cortisol that's off," you know? And I told her, I was like, "This feels like spaghetti noodles.
I'm just throwing everything at the wall just to see what sticks." But in addition to that, I have gained seven pounds since March.
I actually completed my very first marathon in March, and I told her, I was like, "Here's the deal.
I eat 'em, but I'm not eating that all day every day with absolutely no activity taking place." I was like, "My calorie math just is not mathing." And she agreed.
So I guess I'll go into, like, the backstory of what kinda made my own little therapist light bulb go off.
And at first, I say, "At first," it was a, it was a legitimate factor where I had, like, a strain on a lower back muscle.
And so I went back to my PCP, and I was like, "Hey, like, my back is doing significantly better, but I really don't wanna be taking Flexeril," which is a muscle relaxer, "just to go to sleep at night if I don't actually need that." She said, "Absolutely understand it." Wrote me a script for hydroxyzine, which I will say has worked fantastically for my insomnia.
Um, and then I see my GYN every December for an annual, and I was telling him about everything, and he was like, [smacks lips] "You know, you've been diagnosed with hypothyroidism for almost a decade now.
I wonder if it's Hashimoto's." 'Cause in addition to the insomnia, you know, hopefully this is not TMI, but I feel like it's all women, and we talk about, you know, postpartum and all the things here.
Like, my cycles were just off as far as, like, the flow and things of that nature.
Um, and so he was like, "You know, let's test you for Hashimoto's." My labs came back beautiful, which you're like, "Whitney, you should be happy about that." I'm like, "It is such a double-edged sword of, like-"
... yay, I don't have Hashimoto's, but also what is going on with me? To the point where I was like, "Well, am I in perimenopause?" Like, what is going on? And so fast-forward to June, so just a couple of months ago, saw my PCP, and I'm like, "Hey, loving the hydroxyzine.
It's going great for me." Um, you know, definitely noticed the insomnia worse about two to three days before my period, so again, feeling like it's a hormone influenced situation.
Um, and I said, you know, "Maybe it's my cortisol that's off," you know? And I told her, I was like, "This feels like spaghetti noodles.
I'm just throwing everything at the wall just to see what sticks." But in addition to that, I have gained seven pounds since March.
I actually completed my very first marathon in March, and I told her, I was like, "Here's the deal.
I eat 'em, but I'm not eating that all day every day with absolutely no activity taking place." I was like, "My calorie math just is not mathing." And she agreed.
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