Hate Cannot Make Us Better
Hating ourselves has not made us better
Aug 28, 2026 · 38 min · 10 segments
What do you do with a teaching that asks you to trust something you can't prove? James from the St. Louis sangha reads Stephen Batchelor's "Resolve" chapter and his answer is to keep the trust pointed…
My name is James.
Stephen Batchelor kind of jumped in with describing what kind of creature, what kind of being this is, this expansion that is human and this need for purpose, how we achieve it with language and imagery.
He also used some language to describe this resolve, what he-- to help give an image in our mind using, uh, descriptives like aspiration, this, uh, almost physical need to move forward with this process, appreciation, understanding that, uh, this process is going to be, uh, helpful, and conviction, trust or, or knowledge that this, uh, that this path was gonna lead to this purpose.
He then jumped in or, or brought it back to basics, something that I appreciate about, appreciate about, uh, Batchelor's writing and also about our order.
This formative Buddhist concept of anguish and the, the cause of anguish, uh, our desire for things to be other than they are.
He described, and this is important to me, something that I like to talk about, something that was incredi-incredibly helpful for myself, the idea that we are conditioned, right? Uh, we have these incredibly wonderful ideas that are handled-- handed to us, you know, whether we're talking about Buddhism or other, uh, wellness concepts, uh, and they sound great, and they-- it sounds like, "Okay, yes, I'll choose that.
Please, let's go." And it sounds like it would be a simple, uh, task, right? I, I think it's important for-- ag- to acknowledge the human condition, our conditioning, these impressive ideas and, uh, weights that were impressed on us, uh, uh, early years, uh, our family, our cultural conditioning that is so powerful that-- and we-- many of us live, uh, you know, unconsciously, uh, I'll, I'll speak for myself, uh, uh, unaware, uh, that we were viewing reality, uh, through this conditioning.
So acknowledging that conditioning, how powerful, uh, of an effect it has on us and the cycle that it keeps us stuck in.
Batchelor even used the term addiction.
It's a quite powerful word.
I know it resonates with me.
Then the effort that it would take to, uh, to break through or to engage in this, in this process, this resolve it would take was no simple, simple, uh, task.
I, I wanna add though that somehow acknowledging, uh, this conditioning to me is also helpful in a simple way.
It doesn't require as much resolve to start recognizing those patterns in ourselves.
Uh, but then guess what? They're really powerful patterns.
It may return over and over.
So back to the resolve.
He discussed it being a very practical method, this engagement.
We discuss it as, as pragmatic Buddhists, as this rigorous self-honesty, this practice where this reflection, as, as Batchelor discussed it, uh, reflects regular re-regular reflection on priorities, values, and purpose.
And I'll, I'll focus more on the regular.
This, this, um, this resolve, this decision happens, and some-- for some of us it's very powerful, right? Uh, but it doesn't just happen on any one, one time and then we're done, right? This resolve, this decision, these challenges that we face happen over and over.
So I like to, to stress that idea of this regular practice, which takes the resolve, right? Um, he finished the chapter.
I thought it was quite interesting.
It's so funny.
It's, there's some very simple short chapters, and you read something, and it's short and seems...
My name is James.
Stephen Batchelor kind of jumped in with describing what kind of creature, what kind of being this is, this expansion that is human and this need for purpose, how we achieve it with language and imagery.
He also used some language to describe this resolve, what he-- to help give an image in our mind using, uh, descriptives like aspiration, this, uh, almost physical need to move forward with this process, appreciation, understanding that, uh, this process is going to be, uh, helpful, and conviction, trust or, or knowledge that this, uh, that this path was gonna lead to this purpose.
He then jumped in or, or brought it back to basics, something that I appreciate about, appreciate about, uh, Batchelor's writing and also about our order.
This formative Buddhist concept of anguish and the, the cause of anguish, uh, our desire for things to be other than they are.
He described, and this is important to me, something that I like to talk about, something that was incredi-incredibly helpful for myself, the idea that we are conditioned, right? Uh, we have these incredibly wonderful ideas that are handled-- handed to us, you know, whether we're talking about Buddhism or other, uh, wellness concepts, uh, and they sound great, and they-- it sounds like, "Okay, yes, I'll choose that.
Please, let's go." And it sounds like it would be a simple, uh, task, right? I, I think it's important for-- ag- to acknowledge the human condition, our conditioning, these impressive ideas and, uh, weights that were impressed on us, uh, uh, early years, uh, our family, our cultural conditioning that is so powerful that-- and we-- many of us live, uh, you know, unconsciously, uh, I'll, I'll speak for myself, uh, uh, unaware, uh, that we were viewing reality, uh, through this conditioning.
So acknowledging that conditioning, how powerful, uh, of an effect it has on us and the cycle that it keeps us stuck in.
Batchelor even used the term addiction.
It's a quite powerful word.
I know it resonates with me.
Then the effort that it would take to, uh, to break through or to engage in this, in this process, this resolve it would take was no simple, simple, uh, task.
I, I wanna add though that somehow acknowledging, uh, this conditioning to me is also helpful in a simple way.
It doesn't require as much resolve to start recognizing those patterns in ourselves.
Uh, but then guess what? They're really powerful patterns.
It may return over and over.
So back to the resolve.
He discussed it being a very practical method, this engagement.
We discuss it as, as pragmatic Buddhists, as this rigorous self-honesty, this practice where this reflection, as, as Batchelor discussed it, uh, reflects regular re-regular reflection on priorities, values, and purpose.
And I'll, I'll focus more on the regular.
This, this, um, this resolve, this decision happens, and some-- for some of us it's very powerful, right? Uh, but it doesn't just happen on any one, one time and then we're done, right? This resolve, this decision, these challenges that we face happen over and over.
So I like to, to stress that idea of this regular practice, which takes the resolve, right? Um, he finished the chapter.
I thought it was quite interesting.
It's so funny.
It's, there's some very simple short chapters, and you read something, and it's short and seems...
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Hate Cannot Make Us Better
Hating ourselves has not made us better
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Small acts of compassion can reconnect us
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Growth feels uncomfortable before things get easier
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