Sep 22, 2026 · 42 min · 9 segments
What if loving someone means letting go of the need to change them? In Part 2 of our conversation with *Torn* author Jeff Strong, we talk about one of the hardest parts of a faith transition: what…
Derek WilliamsHostJordanHostI have something.
First of all, that's an amazing answer.
Very well put.
And just a personal observation from my own family.
I've talked to my parents about how, because we were a very similar situation.
We're all adult kids and the majority of my siblings or six of us have left the church.
And so I've, you know, now to the point where I can kind of talk a little more openly with my parents about this.
And I've asked them, how has it affected you? their beliefs to see their children walk away.
And they do discuss how difficult it is with me.
And one of the things from a recent conversation that came up, though, was that us leaving has actually helped them really put their faith into practice.
They can no longer just say, hey, I believe these things.
My mom put it in a way like she's like, I don't know what's going to happen in the afterlife, but I do believe in God's promises that if I do what I can, he'll take care of you, he'll take care of me, and I'm just going to put it in his hands.
And so her ability to rely on God and her faith has actually strengthened because she's put it into play.
And so when you talk about how – you're poking at members' fear, it's also an invitation to grow and to really put their faith into practice.
And if they have family members who leave, who also allow that grace to them, I think that that's where we can kind of find the real treasure after all of this, all these pieces fall into place.
And so, yeah, I just really resonate with what you're saying there.
I've seen that in my family as they've allowed me to live the life that I've chosen to live.
And I do the same for them.
We actually found ourselves growing in our own ways.
Yeah, Jordan, man, I am so grateful you shared that personal experience because it's so representative of what's possible.
Now, I'm guessing that your parents are probably like Sarah and I, our faith has never been stronger.
Now, what we lost is we lost our sense of certitude about some of the culture that we had deeply believed in that we learned wasn't true or healthy.
But as we let go of those things, we moved our focus to just simple faith in God.
I have something.
First of all, that's an amazing answer.
Very well put.
And just a personal observation from my own family.
I've talked to my parents about how, because we were a very similar situation.
We're all adult kids and the majority of my siblings or six of us have left the church.
And so I've, you know, now to the point where I can kind of talk a little more openly with my parents about this.
And I've asked them, how has it affected you? their beliefs to see their children walk away.
And they do discuss how difficult it is with me.
And one of the things from a recent conversation that came up, though, was that us leaving has actually helped them really put their faith into practice.
They can no longer just say, hey, I believe these things.
My mom put it in a way like she's like, I don't know what's going to happen in the afterlife, but I do believe in God's promises that if I do what I can, he'll take care of you, he'll take care of me, and I'm just going to put it in his hands.
And so her ability to rely on God and her faith has actually strengthened because she's put it into play.
And so when you talk about how – you're poking at members' fear, it's also an invitation to grow and to really put their faith into practice.
And if they have family members who leave, who also allow that grace to them, I think that that's where we can kind of find the real treasure after all of this, all these pieces fall into place.
And so, yeah, I just really resonate with what you're saying there.
I've seen that in my family as they've allowed me to live the life that I've chosen to live.
And I do the same for them.
We actually found ourselves growing in our own ways.
Yeah, Jordan, man, I am so grateful you shared that personal experience because it's so representative of what's possible.
Now, I'm guessing that your parents are probably like Sarah and I, our faith has never been stronger.
Now, what we lost is we lost our sense of certitude about some of the culture that we had deeply believed in that we learned wasn't true or healthy.
But as we let go of those things, we moved our focus to just simple faith in God.
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