How do you fix Newcastle United?

Anyway, chaps, let's get into the headlines in 30 seconds or less.

Chris, we'll start with you.

Burn notice.

Toothless Newcastle turn to Big Dan in worrying Villa defeat.

Yes, a lot has been made of Big Dan Byrne being brought on for the second game in succession up front, and at the time it actually appeared to be against Aston Villa, Newcastle's best source of a potential goal, and that really sums them up.

They had one shot on target in the entire game, which came from Sven Bottmann, and lost 1-0 to Aston Villa in it.

It's now three defeats in four, and concern is certainly growing.

Sub-pod display, Lasse's League Cup struggles continue with Sunderland defeat, George.

Everything they touch turns to gold in WSL2.

They're unbeaten, won every single game, flying high in the table.

It's not quite been the same in the League Cup.

It's played 2-1-2, including losing to Sunderland at the weekend.

They play Everton also in that competition this week.

Who cares? It's not the priority this season.

It's certainly

not.

Double bubble trouble.

Controversial Tynanwia derby restrictions return, Chris.

Yes, the time we are derby in early December has been moved to Sunday 2 o'clock kick-off, but what has also returned is that Sunderland fans coming to Tyneside rather than last year when they could get the metros or other forms of transport to the ground will have to be on club-sanctioned coaches to be able to get to the ground in so-called bubble conditions, and the allocation has also gone down by a few hundred for them, and it's been slammed by both Newcastle and Sunderland fans alike if this is going to be the precedent moving forward.

and just to completely subvert the usual way of doing things.

Go on, George.

Well, I was going to say, but that's quite appropriate for this topic, subverting of tradition.

I'm going to introduce you for this one, Taylor.

What with you being a musician.

Smiling Faces, Blade and Races get a pre-match revamp.