Jul 30, 2026 · 1 hr 18 min · 12 segments
Find Bella IG: https://www.instagram.com/bellsmessina TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@bellsmessina Up Past Bedtime podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3V3qK026gH8KumipT5R8QA Find Mia here IG…
Mia FindlayHostI would have been heartbroken if someone had told me that at the the way you feel hearing that that's so valid but that is the truth if you cannot do get your super paid if you cannot have your own form of income that he's maybe sacrificing from his wage going into an account just in your name if you cannot accrue your own savings that are just yours in your name if you cannot do those things no you cannot be a stay-at-home mom safely the reality is there is less than one percent of people who can actually do that
And it's contingent also on having a partner who is willing to participate in that kind of dynamic as well, which is another barrier that the means can be there.
But we also need to have a partner who who will acknowledge that this is work and that you as an individual need financial security.
And that should this not work out in the long run, what is not only going to happen to this person's children, but you as their partner at a time who contributed all of this incredibly valuable stuff to the family unit and to them as an individual, because that's probably a big reason why they could accrue the money they did.
like trad content, like, and just that choosing those marriage pipelines and those life pipelines is unfortunately we've lost the art of being wrong.
There's nothing better than just being like, yeah, I made the wrong choice.
You know, and it has been my big journey for the last two years of realizing like, Hey, it's actually so much better to take the millisecond of like shame and embarrassment and humiliation of being like, whoops, made a big whoopsie and move on than it is to stay in that wrong decision for the next 20, 30, 40, 50 years.
It's sunk cost fallacy, isn't it? Where it's, too scary to look at the time you've invested and the life you've invested and realizing this is actually not working out the way that I thought it would have wanted it to.
But it's any hour that you can get back where you're living authentically in the way that you're supposed to live is worth putting your hands up and going wrong way.
And I think that also when you see someone publicly sharing that and they're willing to pivot and they're willing to reflect and acknowledge the areas where they maybe got something wrong.
I have a tendency to trust those people more because if you can tell me where you made errors and what your reflections are, then I know you're not bullshitting me.
If it's just this consistent, just holding up perfection, that always makes me go, oh, there's something going on here because no one has the same opinion about everything and the same experience of one pathway forever without any kind of reflection, right? Did you get any major pushback from women who follow you.
who would have seen themselves in your more traditional content? Like, I know that you got a lot of pushback as you were making that content, but then when you pivoted, did you find that it was a fairly supportive response or was it, you've abandoned us, you were meant to be our leader? Ironically.
have, and I still do get a few being like, being a single, divorced single mom is your whole personality now.
I would have been heartbroken if someone had told me that at the the way you feel hearing that that's so valid but that is the truth if you cannot do get your super paid if you cannot have your own form of income that he's maybe sacrificing from his wage going into an account just in your name if you cannot accrue your own savings that are just yours in your name if you cannot do those things no you cannot be a stay-at-home mom safely the reality is there is less than one percent of people who can actually do that
And it's contingent also on having a partner who is willing to participate in that kind of dynamic as well, which is another barrier that the means can be there.
But we also need to have a partner who who will acknowledge that this is work and that you as an individual need financial security.
And that should this not work out in the long run, what is not only going to happen to this person's children, but you as their partner at a time who contributed all of this incredibly valuable stuff to the family unit and to them as an individual, because that's probably a big reason why they could accrue the money they did.
like trad content, like, and just that choosing those marriage pipelines and those life pipelines is unfortunately we've lost the art of being wrong.
There's nothing better than just being like, yeah, I made the wrong choice.
You know, and it has been my big journey for the last two years of realizing like, Hey, it's actually so much better to take the millisecond of like shame and embarrassment and humiliation of being like, whoops, made a big whoopsie and move on than it is to stay in that wrong decision for the next 20, 30, 40, 50 years.
It's sunk cost fallacy, isn't it? Where it's, too scary to look at the time you've invested and the life you've invested and realizing this is actually not working out the way that I thought it would have wanted it to.
But it's any hour that you can get back where you're living authentically in the way that you're supposed to live is worth putting your hands up and going wrong way.
And I think that also when you see someone publicly sharing that and they're willing to pivot and they're willing to reflect and acknowledge the areas where they maybe got something wrong.
I have a tendency to trust those people more because if you can tell me where you made errors and what your reflections are, then I know you're not bullshitting me.
If it's just this consistent, just holding up perfection, that always makes me go, oh, there's something going on here because no one has the same opinion about everything and the same experience of one pathway forever without any kind of reflection, right? Did you get any major pushback from women who follow you.
who would have seen themselves in your more traditional content? Like, I know that you got a lot of pushback as you were making that content, but then when you pivoted, did you find that it was a fairly supportive response or was it, you've abandoned us, you were meant to be our leader? Ironically.
have, and I still do get a few being like, being a single, divorced single mom is your whole personality now.
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