Finding support networks as a PDA parent

ever.

Yeah.

Yeah, and I think that leads beautifully into the next question, which is, you know, why do you think it's so important for PDA parents to remember that they're still their own person and not just a carer?

I think, well, for me, I think it took me a minute to just be something other than his mum, because I was so consumed by what was going on at home.

And if I was even to consider like going off and doing something for me, the guilt on leaving him the guilt on leaving his siblings, on leaving my husband.

It would be so overwhelming.

I just wouldn't go because it's not fair.

It's not fair that the four of them suffer just for me to go and have a coffee with a friend.

It's not worth it.

But actually now I totally disagree with that.

It is completely worth it.

And I think everybody can recognise that because if I go and meet a friend for a coffee or, you know, a walk or anything, I come back a better version of myself.

Therefore, all four of them will get a better version of mummy and wife.

So for me, it's like medicine.

It's like therapy.

You know, it sounds crazy, doesn't it? Like just a walk with a friend for an hour.

But the impact on what that can do for you mentally, for your mental health, I think is just so amazing.

so important and should be screamed from the rooftops it's okay to take time out for you and actually it's a necessity because these children rely so massively heavily on our nervous systems to regulate theirs they know in a heartbeat if you are struggling so if you're stressed and you need time out and you're reaching burnout that that immediately impacts on them so by taking time out, you're doing it for them, not just for you.

And

it's,

you know.

It's that secondary gain.

There's a gain for everybody.

Yeah, yeah.

And I remember listening to a podcast the other day, actually, and it was talking about self-care and they used a mnemonic M-E-D-S, meds, and it stood for meditation.