Letting Them Go Without Losing Them - 316

I have spoken about that quite a bit.

That's another time that as our children grow and change, we have to adjust.

I wrote about that in Parenting Beyond the Rule.

That, in Parenting Beyond the Rules, I mean, that can be a beautiful thing, but let me tell you, it feels really strange.

And the honest truth is we spend decades building the family that we have, and, and I've obviously spent decades teaching you, teaching parents how to build those families, how to build strong families that will do life together.

And in doing that, as I was preparing for this podcast, in, in thinking about how do we do life together, I want you to hear me, like, right now.

Your family is going to look different than your best friend's family.

You know the people that you're just so close with.

I mean, you do everything together.

You, you go on girl getaways or maybe even family vacations, or you school together.

The reality is that's going to change, and it should change because what's happening is as you're building a family and your children be- become adults, when we're building the family, what happens is they're the center of our world, to be honest with you.

We don't do anything, plan anything, create anything.

We don't schedule holidays.

I mean, everything we do revolves around, like, o- our family, our kids.

They're our tribe.

They're our people.

You know, we plan our holidays and traditions, the meals, the advice that we give, the decisions that we help them make.

That's all part of the daily routine.

But then one day, when that child becomes an adult and they're deciding, "What college am I going to go to? What degree will I seek?" If they go to college.

"Uh, will I move out? Will I stay at home and save money? Will I buy a home? Will I get married? Is this the person I should marry?" Boy, that suddenly throws you into a whole new world, and you have to start realizing you're not the center of their world.

You still matter, but that doesn't mean that everything they do is filtered through what you want them to do or what you think they should do.

And that does not mean that you're rejected.

So please hear me.

It just means that your relationship has changed.