Be Careful What You Say or You'll Give Yourself Away | No Hard Feelings...Kinda | Season 2 Ep 13

What happens when a police officer grieving the death of his significant other decides the safest place for him is deep inside Australia’s criminal underworld? In this episode of 𝘕𝘰 𝘏𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴...𝘒𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘢, JoJo Lynn sits down with former Queensland Police officer and author 𝗧𝗼𝗱𝗱 𝗠𝗮𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗿𝗲, the man behind 𝗗𝗼𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗪𝗶𝗹𝘀𝗼𝗻, the undercover identity he lived for two years while infiltrating dangerous criminal circles across Queensland, Australia. After Todd’s partner Karen died by suicide in 2000, grief, guilt, alcohol, and self-destruction began consuming his life. Instead of stepping away from danger, Todd went directly toward it. Under the name Donny Wilson, he entered the world of undercover policing, working among drug traffickers, violent offenders, addicts, and organized crime figures while privately struggling with his own trauma. Todd takes us behind the badge and into the reality of 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸, including how an undercover identity is created, how trust is earned inside criminal organizations, what happens when criminals begin asking questions, the close calls that could have exposed him, and what it does to a person psychologically when pretending to be someone else becomes part of everyday life. We also talk about the side of policing that rarely makes headlines: witnessing fatalities, suicides, violence, abuse, crime, and delivering news that changes families forever. After 𝟮𝟳 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗣𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲, Todd eventually had to confront what decades of trauma, grief, drinking, and high-risk police work had done to him, including his battle with complex PTSD. His memoir, 𝘿𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙮 – 𝘼𝙣 𝙐𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝘾𝙤𝙥 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙬𝙞𝙨𝙝, tells the story behind the operations, the commendations, and the more than 500 charges his undercover work helped bring, but this conversation goes beyond the résumé. It’s about what happens when grief makes danger feel strangely acceptable. When the person you create to survive begins bleeding into the person you actually are. And what it takes to find your way back after spending years running fromyourself. This episode contains discussion of suicide, trauma, alcohol misuse, violence, crime, and mental health. **In this episode:**undercover policing in Australia, Queensland Police, organized crime, drug trafficking, criminal investigations, police trauma, complex PTSD, grief after suicide, alcohol and trauma, mental health in law enforcement, undercover identities, police officer mental health, survival, recovery, and Todd Maguire’s *Donny – An Undercover Cop with a Deathwish*. **ALL THE WAYS TO FIND TODD ONLINE:** https://toddmaguire.com.au/ https://www.facebook.com/todd.maguire.716/ https://www.instagram.com/todd\author\donny\_/ @todd\_author\_donny_ https://www.amazon.com/dp/1764384407?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback