“Confidence Comes After the Work.”

I'm going to presume that the person that was on the Lucas passed.

Unfortunately, yes.

And at such a young age, like, how did that affect you getting to witness that? Because that's something that not a lot of people see at that age.

This is going to sound so bad,

but it didn't affect me too badly, right? it really didn't and i think that was another kind of thing for me when i was that age i was like i feel like this should like i feel like i should feel like i think i obviously acknowledge like oh my gosh like this is a human being this is someone's family member like this doctor is going to have to call the family and like you know how does that even work type things like i think i had a lot of curiosity about the process and, you know, like the nursing care after, but I think, you know, emotionally it didn't hit me super hard.

And I think that was also kind of like, I think that was also a moment where I thought to myself, maybe I can handle this potentially just like from an emotional standpoint and I will tell you as a new grad, I was an absolute basket case.

So I don't

really know like where.

Like emotionally? Yeah.

Yeah.

Like I don't really know, like, cause when I was a new grad and like I was,

cause I also think I was

relatively

removed

from that situation.

I was very much just shadowing.

I did not, I did not do any, obviously like I didn't do any patient care or You know, so I think I was a little bit more removed, but definitely like patient deaths really affected me pretty heavily my first two years as a nurse.

but in that moment I like

I don't know what happened

to be honest with you well it makes sense too because you weren't involved in it

right and I think I just I wasn't really that involved in it and I think and like the nurse I was with was just like okay so you know that's kind of what happens but there are other patients too which sure is the unfortunate reality you know like As terrible as those experiences are, you know, obviously for the patient, the family, for healthcare providers, there are other patients that do require your attention and that is just That is the most unfortunate part of the job.

Yeah.

So for the first few years that you were a nurse, do you think that you were more emotionally involved because you were having more direct contact with those patients or what, why do you think there was such a difference there?

I definitely think I had more involvement.

And, you know, when you're the nurse taking care of the patient and, you know, especially in like the ICU, like a patient codes or something like that.