Monica ImaniHost
If you're new here, I'm Monica, and for the last 13 years, most people have known me as Monica the Medium.

My life took a drastic turn that I don't think anybody, including me, uh, saw coming.

[laughs] In 2023, I experienced what I now understand to be a psychotic episode.

But it literally fits every textbook definition [laughs] of a psychotic episode and of a psychosis.

So that is what I will be calling it, and I think as you hear me share my testimony, you'll agree that that's what it was.

But yeah, it's-- Even saying the word psychosis and psychotic episode, it's t- it's taken a long time for me to even get comfortable with acknowledging that.

Like, even saying those words publicly has taken a long time and a lot of courage because there has been a lot wrapped up in those words for me.

Honestly, I was mortified, absolutely mortified when I came out of my psychosis to realize everything that had happened and what I said publicly in front of tens of thousands of people.

Um, there was also a lot of fear about what acknowledging this chapter of my life would mean for my career.

Obviously, my reputation and my career took a big negative, uh, hit after all of this had happened.

But miraculously, there was also tens of thousands of people who never heard about any of this because they didn't follow me on Instagram, and they didn't see all the things that I had shared, and they only had followed me on my email list.

And so there was a huge part of my career that was still thriving and everything I was doing because those people didn't even know [laughs] of any of the shit that I had gone through with my mental health.

And I do believe that I could have very easily built back up my career as just a medium doing what I've always done.

And yeah, there could have been a segment of the audience that would have never returned because of hearing what I'd gone through.

But I've basically only further damaged [laughs] that side of my career by being like, "Hey, no, I actually legit did go through a psychotic break." But I know and I feel so deeply in my soul that sharing my story and sharing my testimony and my journey and my experiences is honestly the greatest calling of my life and is, I think, a bigger purpose than mediumship has ever been.

And it's not to say that that wasn't a big purpose and that that doesn't do a lot of good for a lot of people, but I just know that sharing this is exactly what I'm here for and what I'm meant to do.

There was the fear that people would hear that word psychosis and immediately decide that anything that I have ever experienced spiritually must not have been real.

If you're new here, I'm Monica, and for the last 13 years, most people have known me as Monica the Medium.

My life took a drastic turn that I don't think anybody, including me, uh, saw coming.

[laughs] In 2023, I experienced what I now understand to be a psychotic episode.

But it literally fits every textbook definition [laughs] of a psychotic episode and of a psychosis.

So that is what I will be calling it, and I think as you hear me share my testimony, you'll agree that that's what it was.

But yeah, it's-- Even saying the word psychosis and psychotic episode, it's t- it's taken a long time for me to even get comfortable with acknowledging that.

Like, even saying those words publicly has taken a long time and a lot of courage because there has been a lot wrapped up in those words for me.

Honestly, I was mortified, absolutely mortified when I came out of my psychosis to realize everything that had happened and what I said publicly in front of tens of thousands of people.

Um, there was also a lot of fear about what acknowledging this chapter of my life would mean for my career.

Obviously, my reputation and my career took a big negative, uh, hit after all of this had happened.

But miraculously, there was also tens of thousands of people who never heard about any of this because they didn't follow me on Instagram, and they didn't see all the things that I had shared, and they only had followed me on my email list.

And so there was a huge part of my career that was still thriving and everything I was doing because those people didn't even know [laughs] of any of the shit that I had gone through with my mental health.

And I do believe that I could have very easily built back up my career as just a medium doing what I've always done.

And yeah, there could have been a segment of the audience that would have never returned because of hearing what I'd gone through.

But I've basically only further damaged [laughs] that side of my career by being like, "Hey, no, I actually legit did go through a psychotic break." But I know and I feel so deeply in my soul that sharing my story and sharing my testimony and my journey and my experiences is honestly the greatest calling of my life and is, I think, a bigger purpose than mediumship has ever been.

And it's not to say that that wasn't a big purpose and that that doesn't do a lot of good for a lot of people, but I just know that sharing this is exactly what I'm here for and what I'm meant to do.

There was the fear that people would hear that word psychosis and immediately decide that anything that I have ever experienced spiritually must not have been real.
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