Episode 2: Freedom to Choose, Power to Save (The NDE Story, Part I)

But I'm actually going to have to backtrack

two days because even though my near-death experience happened on September 13th, 2023, the story actually starts two days earlier on September 11th, 2023.

There was one experience from September 11th that I've never been able to really explain or fully wrap my brain around.

And before I tell you about it, I need to acknowledge something about that day that I think is important context.

I was sober from alcohol.

I was approaching my one-year sober anniversary, and I hadn't used mushrooms.

The only other substance other than cannabis and alcohol I've ever used in my life has been mushrooms.

But at the time, I hadn't used mushrooms in many months.

But I was still using cannabis during this period.

I wasn't smoking as frequently because I had had LASIK the month before and I was having some complications with my eyes following that surgery and I didn't want like the smoke to irritate my eyes any further.

But while preparing for this episode, I went through my records and my photos to confirm what I already remembered to be true and I was able to confirm that I did smoke cannabis on September 11th.

And I'm telling you that because I am not here to clean up my story three years later to make it easier for you to believe me.

And I also think it is relevant because I've already written about in my sub stack the fact that I do believe cannabis was one of several contributing factors to my psychosis.

So can I tell you with absolute certainty that cannabis had zero effect on my perception on September 11th? No, that wouldn't be honest.

Could it have affected how I interpreted things? Absolutely.

Could it even have affected how some of those memories were formed? No.

Yeah.

And at the same time, I had used cannabis on and off for nearly 14 years at that point.

So I knew what being high felt like for me.

I wasn't smoking weed and on a regular basis hallucinating.

You know, I was very much in control of my actions, my thoughts, my habits, my routine.

Even when I smoked, I was... a pothead like many of you guys might be where you can still be very well functioning.

And because of that, I don't think it would be honest for me to say, well, I smoked some pot that day, so obviously everything that happened was a hallucination.

That's the gray area.

On September 13th, the day of my NDE, I had not smoked cannabis at all that day.