Here's How To Go From Awkward to Authentic Networking (EPS 131)

Now, you say you're an introvert, and I'm not going to doubt you because I don't want to say I'm an introvert.

I'm not an introvert, but I'm not an extrovert either.

So you're an

ambivert.

Yeah, I guess, an ambivore, right? Yes.

So there's a phrase that Susan Cain, who wrote the book Quiet, has brought into the more public conversation or the broader conversation versus people who are just more in the clinical stuff.

called Amber verb and people, people like you and me are highly functional in a cocktail party situation in a conference situation.

That's where I call it the friendly functional introvert.

And, you know, I grew up in Indiana, chunk of my life, you know, you said hi to everybody.

You did, you know, you was in, and when I moved out here to Boston, people, if I, if I ever want to flip Bostonians out, I'll walk down the street and say, hi, it's just kind of fun, you know, because I just don't know what to do with you.

But when I say I'm a friendly, functional introvert, I'll get an email from probably a third of the audience and say, can you make me functional?

Right.

Because that's the part that people want because they hurt their personal brand.

They hurt their organization's brand.

You know, I hurt the brand of women.

I hurt the brand of brunettes.

I hurt the brand of, you know, five foot four, whatever you want to call it.

If I'm not a functional person and a friendly person in a way that I make someone feel welcomed and appreciated versus making them feel like I don't care about their company.

Well, I think there's a misconception that good networkers are extroverts.

Absolutely.

So I explain it thinking about it as a glass of water.

An extrovert wakes up in the morning with an empty glass of water.

The more people they talk to, they're like a dog.

Who do I get to wag to right now? Who do I get to see? Who do I get to say, love me, love me, love me, and I'll love you back.

Love me more.