Oct 18, 2026 · 30 min · 15 segments
A guided meditation for anxiety, calming the nervous system and feeling safe in your body. Part 4 of a 10-part series on love, connection and transcendence, inspired by Barbara Fredrickson's *Love…
Raphael ReiterHost
And today I want to talk about what has to be there before any of that can happen.

So in her book that we've been seeing together, and in a couple of weeks I've been sharing my first book highlights podcast episode, so make sure that you have a look at that.


If some part of you feels threatened, love simply isn't available in that moment.

It's been shaped over millions of years to spot danger, often before we're even aware of it.

You could be deep in a conversation or enjoying a run in the forest and still see the snake on the path in a fraction of a second.

The problem is that real threats are rare, but our alarm doesn't always know that.

When we're anxious or lonely, or don't feel good about ourselves, we see threats far more often than they're actually there.

The email from the boss, or a silence in a conversation in a first meeting, a look we misread, and every time the alarm goes off, connection gets harder.

Seneca wrote in one of his letters that we suffer more in imagination than in reality.

What is actually in my control right now? Not to make them cold, but to make them calm.

Because when you stop fighting things you cannot control, the body can finally put the alarm down.

Before it's anything else, sitting quietly is a way of telling your body right now, in this moment, you are safe, you can soften, you can relax, and nothing is required of you.

You can't force yourself to feel love, but you can create the conditions for it to come easier.

And today I want to talk about what has to be there before any of that can happen.

So in her book that we've been seeing together, and in a couple of weeks I've been sharing my first book highlights podcast episode, so make sure that you have a look at that.


If some part of you feels threatened, love simply isn't available in that moment.

It's been shaped over millions of years to spot danger, often before we're even aware of it.

You could be deep in a conversation or enjoying a run in the forest and still see the snake on the path in a fraction of a second.

The problem is that real threats are rare, but our alarm doesn't always know that.

When we're anxious or lonely, or don't feel good about ourselves, we see threats far more often than they're actually there.

The email from the boss, or a silence in a conversation in a first meeting, a look we misread, and every time the alarm goes off, connection gets harder.

Seneca wrote in one of his letters that we suffer more in imagination than in reality.

What is actually in my control right now? Not to make them cold, but to make them calm.

Because when you stop fighting things you cannot control, the body can finally put the alarm down.

Before it's anything else, sitting quietly is a way of telling your body right now, in this moment, you are safe, you can soften, you can relax, and nothing is required of you.

You can't force yourself to feel love, but you can create the conditions for it to come easier.
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