Oct 13, 2026 · 18 min · 8 segments
Aloha! Soooo many couples struggle with learning how to make decisions together. This Live Your Why podcast episode will give you some important ideas around partnership marriages. Listen as Hank…
So Hank, in our teaching at BYU, I don't know what your experience has been, but often I get a question about what does presiding at home really mean? And in marriage, what does that really look like? And so I'll tell you a little bit about what I've thought about it, and then I'd just love to hear your thoughts as well.
Sometimes when you read the proclamation to the family and it says that a The husband is to preside over the family.
And one is that I think of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and they sit together and Right now, Elder Ballard is presiding, the presiding apostle over the quorum.
And as I picture that in my mind, what that must look like with all of those wonderful men together and Elder Ballard's presiding, I kind of have come to an idea that it's more like he's facilitating conversation.
that he's directing and guiding the conversation and that together these men seek for inspiration and they don't move forward until they're unanimous on what it is they've decided.
And for me, that's been a way that I've kind of been able to resolve some of that hierarchical picture that preside over kind of brings to my mind.
And when I studied that, looked up the word facilitate, it means to help, to make easier, to help run more smoothly.
And I can absolutely see where someone would have difficulty with this, right? Where we know instinctively, we know that husbands and wives are equal partners.
And then we read the proclamation and we think, well, that doesn't seem to sit right.
So I think presiding in the priesthood or at church is different than the presiding at home.
So if the bishop presides in the meeting, the stake president presides in the meeting, right? The Relief Society president presides in the meeting.
That's the idea of like, you know, if there's something that needs to be corrected or done or they're the kind of the ones that they're the they're the ones we look to.
So Hank, in our teaching at BYU, I don't know what your experience has been, but often I get a question about what does presiding at home really mean? And in marriage, what does that really look like? And so I'll tell you a little bit about what I've thought about it, and then I'd just love to hear your thoughts as well.
Sometimes when you read the proclamation to the family and it says that a The husband is to preside over the family.
And one is that I think of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and they sit together and Right now, Elder Ballard is presiding, the presiding apostle over the quorum.
And as I picture that in my mind, what that must look like with all of those wonderful men together and Elder Ballard's presiding, I kind of have come to an idea that it's more like he's facilitating conversation.
that he's directing and guiding the conversation and that together these men seek for inspiration and they don't move forward until they're unanimous on what it is they've decided.
And for me, that's been a way that I've kind of been able to resolve some of that hierarchical picture that preside over kind of brings to my mind.
And when I studied that, looked up the word facilitate, it means to help, to make easier, to help run more smoothly.
And I can absolutely see where someone would have difficulty with this, right? Where we know instinctively, we know that husbands and wives are equal partners.
And then we read the proclamation and we think, well, that doesn't seem to sit right.
So I think presiding in the priesthood or at church is different than the presiding at home.
So if the bishop presides in the meeting, the stake president presides in the meeting, right? The Relief Society president presides in the meeting.
That's the idea of like, you know, if there's something that needs to be corrected or done or they're the kind of the ones that they're the they're the ones we look to.
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