Sep 24, 2026 · 11 min · 6 segments
There are several things Tammy despises in life: One of them is ghosting! In this episode Tammy will explain why you never, ever, no never should ghost your date. It hits at the heart of attachment…
Before I get into ghosting, though, I want to tell you a little bit about attachment.
My therapeutic lens that I use when I work with people is focused through attachment needs.
As human beings, we have the need to feel connected, to feel like we're understood, that who we're with gets us, and to feel like we belong.
I believe that this is part of our divine heritage that we get from our Heavenly Parents, to truly belong, feel seen, and loved and cared for by someone.
Attachment theory was founded by John Bowlby, who found that children who were abandoned in World War II were very stunted emotionally and socially.
His studies found there was a strong connection between infants and children and their caregivers.
Adults have distinct attachment styles that are largely determined by the way we are attached as children.
Basically, this means that the ability for us as adults to step out into the world on our own stems from the knowledge that we have someone beside us who we can trust and rely on.
Isn't that interesting? In order for us to fly, we need to know we've got a net underneath us of someone that we can trust.
Our romantic partners influence how we feel about ourselves, but also to some degree they influence how much we believe in ourselves and whether we attempt to achieve our hopes and dreams.
Having partners who fulfill our intrinsic attachment needs provide a secure base that can help us become and remain emotionally and physically healthier.
So basically, your ability to romantically connect to another human being is largely influenced by your attachment style.
Whenever we talk about a parent's role in nurturing their children, don't ever think that's not important because the way you nurture your children is going to enable them to grow up, move out, get married, and be healthy in their marriages.
I want to include in this podcast a link to an attachment assessment where you can discover more about your attachment style.
Before I get into ghosting, though, I want to tell you a little bit about attachment.
My therapeutic lens that I use when I work with people is focused through attachment needs.
As human beings, we have the need to feel connected, to feel like we're understood, that who we're with gets us, and to feel like we belong.
I believe that this is part of our divine heritage that we get from our Heavenly Parents, to truly belong, feel seen, and loved and cared for by someone.
Attachment theory was founded by John Bowlby, who found that children who were abandoned in World War II were very stunted emotionally and socially.
His studies found there was a strong connection between infants and children and their caregivers.
Adults have distinct attachment styles that are largely determined by the way we are attached as children.
Basically, this means that the ability for us as adults to step out into the world on our own stems from the knowledge that we have someone beside us who we can trust and rely on.
Isn't that interesting? In order for us to fly, we need to know we've got a net underneath us of someone that we can trust.
Our romantic partners influence how we feel about ourselves, but also to some degree they influence how much we believe in ourselves and whether we attempt to achieve our hopes and dreams.
Having partners who fulfill our intrinsic attachment needs provide a secure base that can help us become and remain emotionally and physically healthier.
So basically, your ability to romantically connect to another human being is largely influenced by your attachment style.
Whenever we talk about a parent's role in nurturing their children, don't ever think that's not important because the way you nurture your children is going to enable them to grow up, move out, get married, and be healthy in their marriages.
I want to include in this podcast a link to an attachment assessment where you can discover more about your attachment style.
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