"Five Years" 9.28.26

We're getting into October, and we're at the five-year mark of my mother passing away.

And somebody reminded me actually wasn't somebody I was looking at my Facebook timeline and they post stuff from five years ago.

And I was looking at things that I was posting online five years ago when my mother was on a ventilator as she was dealing with COVID.

And we were pretty much towards the end.

And five years after my mother's death.

I've been sharing my grief process with the listeners to this show.

And look, my mother dying of COVID is the most impactful event of my life.

I know I have Lyme disease, which changed my body, changed my ability to do certain things, changed my ability.

I can't stand on an elevated platform, so I can't sing anymore.

The Lyme arthritis really changed my athletic stuff, so I can't really run anymore.

I lost everything and had to start over.

But losing my mother and my grandfather, who were the closest people to me in my life, losing them in like back-to-back weeks was really, really tough.

Like there's just no grief counseling that can prepare you for that, to lose two

people that you love.

There's just no, there's no, there's no, you can't go online and read through that.

There are no books for that.

And my mom suffered with COVID.

She was on a ventilator for more than a month.

And she suffered.

By the time she passed away, she was almost unrecognizable.

That was difficult.

I had to go in there every day and kind of hold her hand and play her music.

That's what she asked me to do.

She's out.

They say that you can hear.