It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People
Apr 30, 2026 · 32 min · 16 segments
When addiction and high conflict personality traits both show up in a custody case, the usual advice stops working. Vague parenting plans become weapons. Standard timelines get exploited. Courts…
Megan HunterHostWell, a lot of what, what happens with parenting plans is 80% of couples when they separate, divorce, work out plans that don't really need to involve the court.
Um, they often a- make agreements out of court, marital settlement agreements or other terms for, for that.
And what happens with high-conflict people is they tend to interpret it extremely broadly in ways that give them an advantage.
Well, what time is that? Well, I'll pick the kids up after school, and I'll bring them back Monday morning." Well, it could mean that, but doesn't say that.
Alternate weekends, you start Saturday morning, and I get them back Sunday afternoon." And so you end up having these arguments about what does alternate weekends mean, and what does Wednesday evening mean? Is that Wednesday overnight? Is that after school you pick up the kids and take them back to school Thursday morning? What does that mean? And a lot of kids don't do well with an alternate week schedule without seeing the other parent at least once during the week.
So a lot of people that get more specific say, you know, "We'll exchange Sunday afternoon, and Wednesday dinner the other parent will have with the kids." So they get to see the other parent once during that week, even though they're spending every night and have their school equipment and day packs and all of that at one house for a week.
It's actually a convenient plan when you've got kids old enough to manage it and young enough to tolerate it.
It tends to work best with kids, like, about 10 to 12-year-olds, but some older kids do that too.
So yeah, it's interpreting things, and so many parenting plans are real general, and majority of people work with that.
They call up, say, "Hey, what time should we do this weekend?" Or let's say there's a holiday.
"Well, when does the holiday begin? Does Christmas begin Christmas Eve? Does it begin 8:00 AM on Christmas Day?" All that stuff.
And majority of parents will call each other up and say, you know, "I propose we do it this way," and the other parent's, "That's cool," or, "Let's revise that a little." And so they work it out.
So most people, I'd say 80%, don't have a big problem negotiating their shared parenting schedule.
Well, a lot of what, what happens with parenting plans is 80% of couples when they separate, divorce, work out plans that don't really need to involve the court.
Um, they often a- make agreements out of court, marital settlement agreements or other terms for, for that.
And what happens with high-conflict people is they tend to interpret it extremely broadly in ways that give them an advantage.
Well, what time is that? Well, I'll pick the kids up after school, and I'll bring them back Monday morning." Well, it could mean that, but doesn't say that.
Alternate weekends, you start Saturday morning, and I get them back Sunday afternoon." And so you end up having these arguments about what does alternate weekends mean, and what does Wednesday evening mean? Is that Wednesday overnight? Is that after school you pick up the kids and take them back to school Thursday morning? What does that mean? And a lot of kids don't do well with an alternate week schedule without seeing the other parent at least once during the week.
So a lot of people that get more specific say, you know, "We'll exchange Sunday afternoon, and Wednesday dinner the other parent will have with the kids." So they get to see the other parent once during that week, even though they're spending every night and have their school equipment and day packs and all of that at one house for a week.
It's actually a convenient plan when you've got kids old enough to manage it and young enough to tolerate it.
It tends to work best with kids, like, about 10 to 12-year-olds, but some older kids do that too.
So yeah, it's interpreting things, and so many parenting plans are real general, and majority of people work with that.
They call up, say, "Hey, what time should we do this weekend?" Or let's say there's a holiday.
"Well, when does the holiday begin? Does Christmas begin Christmas Eve? Does it begin 8:00 AM on Christmas Day?" All that stuff.
And majority of parents will call each other up and say, you know, "I propose we do it this way," and the other parent's, "That's cool," or, "Let's revise that a little." And so they work it out.
So most people, I'd say 80%, don't have a big problem negotiating their shared parenting schedule.
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