70. Reconnecting With Desire | A 4-Step Framework for Nervous System Safety (Season 1 Wrap Up)

So a couple things that I just wanna lay a foundation around this topic.

So if you answered that question and you're like, "Hey, I don't have a lot of things that I've designed my life around because I'm just following these desires." Or maybe you're listening and you're like, "I don't really know what I desire.

Like, I just do the things I've always done or that I'm supposed to do, or that like at one point I did desire a home in this neighborhood, or I desired, you know, this number of children, or I desired, you know, having this much money in my bank account.

And so this is what I do to have those things." That is not bad.

That is good.

That is most women listening to this, I would assume.

But there's probably something else that is causing you, even though you have that desire, to still not feel exactly what you're wanting to feel in your day to day.

So most of our listeners, most of the women that we work with, there's something deeper they desire in their health and in their body.

And the cool thing is that your desire is actually data, and I think that that gets lost in a lot of other programs.

I don't hear practitioners talk about this, but what I know as a practitioner is that someone's desire is the greatest clue for where we need to focus and plug in to their body feeling safe.

This goes back to the foundational piece of every protocol, of every program, every podcast episode from anyone you're gonna listen to, they're gonna say nervous system, nervous system, nervous system, right? And then you get all these tips for nervous system.

Go on a silent walk, take...

You know, journal more, walk through your attachment style, re-parent yourself, like all of these things.

And again, those aren't bad things, but that can also put you on this never-ending feat of being like, "Well, is my nervous system regulated now? Is it regulated now? Is it regulated now?" And there's really two things that are going to fast-track nervous system regulation to where you don't have to do a ton of nervous system work all the time.

You have just created these pathways in your brain that are very easy to follow, that start to become your autopilot and your subconscious because you learned how to do them, you're doing them, and you start to feel safe while doing them.

They don't feel safe at first, which is why most people don't do them consistently enough.

And so when you start doing them consistently enough and you start practicing this, even though it doesn't feel super safe at first, it starts to create these new roads in the brain that the brain wants to automatically go down without you having to tell it to.

'Cause the reason your nervous system is so activated, you didn't tell your nervous system, "Get dysregulated as it is." It just slowly got there because there were these beliefs and patterns and habits that you acquired along the way that your body interpreted as, "This is what keeps us safe." So now it stays on those roads, and you're begging it to heal, and you're begging it to get you pregnant, and you're begging it to turn back on all of these other things that you're wanting in your health, like your metabolism and your hormones, and it's not happening, and you're like, "I think it's because my nervous system is stuck." So one of the key pieces to getting these two things to actually work, to get that re-patterning in your nervous system, is having support while it feels unsafe.

So like I said, you kinda have to do these things consistently enough, even though they don't feel safe.

And what makes them feel safe is actually co-regulation.

It's having somebody who is right there beside you while you're doing it, saying like, "Yep, you're doing it right.

Yes, this is normal.

This is how it feels.

Like, you've got this.

You're getting there." And that's the biggest benefit, I think, to working with a practitioner that, number one, understands the body as a whole, so mind, body, spirit.