#51 - Can You Motivate a Porn and Sex Addict to Change? - Listener Questions

So she says, I am the betrayed.

It has been two months since D-Day, porn addiction for 10 plus years of our marriage.

And I set my boundaries.

I asked him to start therapy, join a support group, find a mentor or accountability partner.

I need honesty.

Let me know if you struggle or relapse within 24 hours.

I need true honesty and not just want to ask questions.

We need some kind of couple counseling or couples coaching.

And I want to be pursued, reassured of where you are at on your recovery.

However, he has done none of this.

He has had a one-on-one with David and other couples coach that she initiated.

I, on the other hand, have been working on my healing.

She did have a one-on-one with you.

It sounds like Eileen.

Six therapy sessions and working toward healing every day.

I don't know if this is normal.

I feel stuck.

I thought I would say that I need and he would deliver.

He verbally stated he understood what I was asking, but his actions are not lining up.

Well, now what? I don't know how to get what I need.

Is there some sort of timeline I should give him? How do I do that without sounding controlling or even manipulative? I, of course, want him to do the work willingly, but I'm feeling like he doesn't want to, despite him saying that he will, quote unquote, get the help.

Yeah, that's really hard.

And it depends, too.

I think one of the questions I would ask is, like, is he doing absolutely no work? You know, and I think I did have a call with this person and eventually work was being done.

Like there was therapy being booked and things like that.