Aug 11, 2026 · 53 min · 15 segments
Trauma can present challenges to us accessing and expressing our full ‘beingness’. Today’s episode looks at those challenges specifically with the lens of trans identity. How can we see our true…
Heather McIntoshHostMossGuest
Rahim ThawerGuest
Rahim Thawer, a psychotherapist, writer, and educator at the University of Alabama, joined me to share some of his reflections on Moss and Ocean's discussions about sexuality and unfolding identities through trauma and through life.
When I've done workshops with, with younger folk, and they ask about different identities, and how come there's so many, and I will say, "Well, it's like a coffee menu." And if for 10 years you've gone to a coffee shop that just has regular coffee or decaf, you're not gonna know about what else is there, and that doesn't mean you're not experiencing something internally.
But once you go into a different place and you see a different menu, something opens up inside you.
So Ocean and Moss, so I- I think- For them, they're, they're growing up in the '80s and '90s, and they're not seeing a lot of people as representations.
Oh, absolutely.
It's so bad, right? Ocean describes, um, recognizing themselves through, uh, a trans-masculine person online.
Yeah.
And if I'm not mistaken, it was someone who also was, was trans-masculine, but identified as agender.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
[laughs]
I'm really bad at knowing what I want.
So, like, I had a therapist at the time for my trauma stuff, so that was cool 'cause we got to talk about gender.
And I was like, "What if, what if I wanna transition because I experienced trauma as a child in, in that body, so I wanna change it?" And I was like, "Oh, no," like, "What if that's why I wanna transition?" And she was like, "You know what? Maybe.
What if? Like, doesn't matter.
[laughs] You wanna transition, that's how you feel, it's like you can't remove that experience from yourself.
Rahim Thawer, a psychotherapist, writer, and educator at the University of Alabama, joined me to share some of his reflections on Moss and Ocean's discussions about sexuality and unfolding identities through trauma and through life.
When I've done workshops with, with younger folk, and they ask about different identities, and how come there's so many, and I will say, "Well, it's like a coffee menu." And if for 10 years you've gone to a coffee shop that just has regular coffee or decaf, you're not gonna know about what else is there, and that doesn't mean you're not experiencing something internally.
But once you go into a different place and you see a different menu, something opens up inside you.
So Ocean and Moss, so I- I think- For them, they're, they're growing up in the '80s and '90s, and they're not seeing a lot of people as representations.
Oh, absolutely.
It's so bad, right? Ocean describes, um, recognizing themselves through, uh, a trans-masculine person online.
Yeah.
And if I'm not mistaken, it was someone who also was, was trans-masculine, but identified as agender.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
[laughs]
I'm really bad at knowing what I want.
So, like, I had a therapist at the time for my trauma stuff, so that was cool 'cause we got to talk about gender.
And I was like, "What if, what if I wanna transition because I experienced trauma as a child in, in that body, so I wanna change it?" And I was like, "Oh, no," like, "What if that's why I wanna transition?" And she was like, "You know what? Maybe.
What if? Like, doesn't matter.
[laughs] You wanna transition, that's how you feel, it's like you can't remove that experience from yourself.
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