Rahim Thawer, a psychotherapist, writer, and educator at the University of Alabama, joined me to share some of his reflections on Moss and Ocean's discussions about sexuality and unfolding identities through trauma and through life.

When I've done workshops with, with younger folk, and they ask about different identities, and how come there's so many, and I will say, "Well, it's like a coffee menu." And if for 10 years you've gone to a coffee shop that just has regular coffee or decaf, you're not gonna know about what else is there, and that doesn't mean you're not experiencing something internally.

But once you go into a different place and you see a different menu, something opens up inside you.

So the items on the menu are important.

Those are representation.

Exactly.

And the way I think about it is like you had to question things earlier than other people.

You questioned norms, a frame.

Rahim, did you wanna get us started?

Immediately as you were even formulating that question, I thought about Adnan's piece on, um, the letter to his inner child, but also the inner child talking to his father.

Um, and that comes to mind because the idea of, you know, the inner child is recent.

It's a very contemporary way of thinking.

Um, and underneath it is object ... like, object relations.

It's the, the, uh, attachment figures you've internalized, you carry with you.

Um, and it's attachment theory, you know, which is about the impact of significant carers in your life and their presence, absence, uh, neglect, or ambivalence and how that impacts you.

But, um, I really would love to know, you know, what brought-- prompted this kind of modality of, you know, writing this piece out and what this meant for both of you, um, and, you know, really what you would want people to, to take away from it.

Rahim, did you wanna get us started?

Immediately as you were even formulating that question, I thought about Adnan's piece on, um, the letter to his inner child but also the inner child talking to his father.

Um, and that comes to mind because the idea of, you know, the inner child is recent.

It's a very contemporary way of thinking.

Um, and underneath it is object, like, object relations.

It's the, the, uh, attachment figures you've internalized, you carry with you.

Um, and it's attachment theory, you know, which is about the impact of significant carers in your life and their presence, absence, uh, neglect, or ambivalence and how that impacts you.

Um, and it's, you know, it's intense in many ways, but, um, I really would love to know, you know, what bro- prompted this kind of modality of, you know, w- writing this piece out [laughs] and what this meant for both of you, um, and, you know, really what you would want people to, to take away from it.

Rahim, did you wanna get us started?

Immediately as you were even formulating that question, I thought about Adnan's piece on, um, the letter to his inner child but also the inner child talking to his father.

Um, and that comes to mind because the idea of, you know, the inner child is recent.

It's a very contemporary way of thinking.

Um, and underneath it is object, like object relations.

It's the, the, uh, attachment figures you've internalized, you carry with you.

Um, and it's attachment theory, you know, which is about the impact of significant carers in your life and their presence, absence, uh, neglect, or ambivalence and how that impacts you.

Um, and it's, you know, it's intense in many ways, but, um, I really would love to know, you know, what brought, prompted this kind of modality of, you know, w- writing this piece out and what this meant for both of you, um, and, you know, really what you would want people to, to take away from it.