Why Women Become Angry in Their 40s — And Why That's Not A Bad Thing

**Why Women Become Angry in Their 40s — And Why That's Not A Bad Thing** 46% of women aged 40 to 54 face the highest burnout risk of any age group. More than half screen positive for depression and anxiety. Over 60% of later-life divorces are initiated by women. In this conversation, Ange sits down with Amanda Lim and Jasmin Dhillon, hosts of The Forties Formula, who’ve had the conversations about “midlife” that most people still aren't having. Amanda is a Harvard-certified health coach and mum of three who had her third child at 41. Jasmin, is an Integrated Health Strategist who hit perimenopause at 36 after giving birth to her twins. Together, they’ve spent years collecting stories and what they keep hearing, from hundreds of women, is the same thing: everyone thinks their experience is unique, everyone thinks something is wrong. The rage, the shame, the loneliness. Everyone thinks they're the only one. And the good news is, they're not. They get down to raw and real emotions, talking about the anger that arrives in your 40s and what it's actually telling you. The rage is real, and it's not the same as stress. And it's not a breakdown either. They share stories of identity crisis, the fear that no one talks about, and what doctors don’t tell you about the changes in the body. Is it just age and can we do anything about it? This is not the fabulous-at-forty version talk, but it might be the most useful conversation you’ll need in your 40s. Press play. **IN THIS EPISODE:** 00:00 | Why Am I So Angry? 01:15 | The Conversation Every Mum Needs 02:17 | Meet the 40s Experts 03:24 | Nobody Warned Us: It’s Not Age! 04:13 | The Problem With "Midlife" 05:24 | Perimenopause at 36?! 06:28 | The Symptoms That Are Usually Missed 07:46 | Is Your Rage Actually Hormonal? 10:08 | The Identity Crisis No One Talks About 12:00 | Identity Synthesis vs Identity Replacement vs Identity Dissonance 13:49 | The Life-Changing Stove Analogy 14:40 | Why Women Leave Relationships After 20 Years 16:08 | Don't Wait Until It's Too Late 16:50 | Geriatric Pregnancy: Myth vs Reality 18:13 | The Fear Nobody Talks About 19:24 | Stop Surviving. Start Thriving. 21:35 | Your Kids Will Leave One Day 22:44 | What Your Doctor Isn’t Telling You 24:59 | The Impossible Standard for Women 27:02 | How to Find Your People Again 29:52 | The Truth Women Whisper In Safety 31:17 | Hot Takes on Aging & Menopause 33:07 | What Every Woman Should Remember ### **About The Forties Formula** The Forties Formula is an award-winning podcast named Best Health and Wellness Podcast in Asia 2025 and featured by CNA as one of Singapore's best podcasts for women. It's hosted by Amanda Lim and Jasmin Dhillon, two health coaches and mothers who bring both personal experience and science-led insight to the conversations most people still aren't having about midlife. Amanda is a Harvard-certified health coach and Director of Singapore's first metabolic health clinic, where she and her physician husband co-manage patients through fitness and nutrition. Jasmin is an Integrated Health Strategist specialising in gut health, hormone balance, and sustainable nutrition for women in their 40s. The Forties Formula: https://www.youtube.com/@thefortiesformula Jasmin Dhillon: Eat with Jasmin Amanda Lim: Lift Clinic ### **What You'll Take Away** - Perimenopause can start at 36. Jasmin thought her symptoms (wrist pain, anxiety, heart palpitations, no sleep) were just because of her newborn twins. They weren't. - The rage is hormonal, but not in the way you think. Dropping estrogen doesn't create new anger. It removes your ability to keep masking the feelings that were already there. - Identity in your 40s doesn't have to mean replacement. Amanda's framework: synthesis, not dissonance. The burner analogy will stay with you. - The mental load doesn't explode because women suddenly become unreasonable. It explodes because the hormones that helped us stay quiet stop doing that. - Muscle will save you. Skeletal muscle and the functional strength to use it. Your GP probably hasn't said this clearly enough. - Making friends in your 40s starts with knowing who you are first. Show up in places that reflect who you want to be, and stay long enough to become part of it. - What you think is weird, shameful, or too lonely to say out loud, everyone else is feeling too. That's the whole point of this conversation. ### **Connect with Growing Pains** Growing Pains is HoneyKids Asia's podcast for the conversations you want to have after the kids go to bed. - YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@growingpains.honeykids@growingpains.honeykids - Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/honeykidsasia@honeykidsasia - Website:https://honeykidsasia.com/honeykidsasia.com Hit subscribe so you don't miss an episode. If this one moved you, share it with a parent who needs to hear it. *Growing Pains is produced in partnership withhttps://www.poddster.sg/Poddster, Singapore's podcast studio.*