Is Motherhood Quietly Erasing the Real You?

She built one of Singapore's most awarded agencies. She dressed the biggest names in fashion. She raised two boys. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, she stopped recognising the person in the mirror. Tjin Lee, founder of Mercury and co-founder of Crib Society talks about what actually happens when motherhood and career quietly swallow your sense of self, and what it takes to hold on to it. This is not a story about burnout. It is about the slower, sneakier thing that happens when you spend two decades being everything to everyone else. There is a label she says every working mother should stop using on herself. There is a red dress that changed the way an entire industry saw her. There is a caterpillar story she tells her sons that has nothing to do with insects and everything to do with why she refuses to make their lives easier. If you have ever felt like you disappeared somewhere inside your own life, this conversation is for you. Hit play. IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 | Losing Yourself to Motherhood 00:38 | Welcome to Growing Pains with Tjin Lee 01:56 | The Unexpected Journey to Motherhood at 40 03:57 | Facing the "Auntie" in the Mirror 06:37 | Why 50 is the Adolescence of Old Age 12:19 | Don't Let "Mom" Override Your Identity 15:23 | Why "Mompreneur" is a Label That Keeps Women Small 23:42 | Coloring Books to Minecraft: The Screen Time Dilemma 28:13 | Shielding Sons From the Toxic Manosphere 30:12 | The Red Dress Moment: Stepping Out of the Shadows 35:51 | Earning Your Battle Armor & Dropping the People Pleaser 41:07 | Stop Taking It Personally: Lessons for the Next Gen 43:00 | The Heartbreak of "Soulmate Parenting" 46:35 | Quick-Fire: Refusing the Tiger Mom Trap 52:24 | Episode Takeaways **About Tjin Lee** Tjin Lee is the founder of Mercury, a Singapore marketing agency she built over 23 years and sold at 49, working with brands including Burberry, Gucci and Cartier along the way. She also launched the Audi Fashion Festival, chaired Singapore Fashion Week, and co-founded Crib Society to support women entrepreneurs. She has over 120,000 followers on Instagram, where she is known for being outspoken about motherhood, identity and midlife reinvention. **Connect with Tjin Lee:** Instagram: @Tjinlee Linkedin: Tjin Lee Find out more about Crib Society ### **What You'll Take Away** - The moment she stopped recognising herself, and what she did about it - Why she says the word "mompreneur" quietly shrinks the woman using it - The caterpillar story she tells her sons, and why she won't rescue them from the struggle - What it actually took to separate "who I am" from "who my kids need me to be" - The red dress story behind why she stopped hiding backstage at her own events - Why she thinks women are taught to be uncomfortable with being seen - What she wishes she had understood about herself twenty years earlier ### **Connect with Growing Pains** Growing Pains is HoneyKids Asia's podcast for the conversations you want to have after the kids go to bed. YouTube: @growingpains.honeykids Instagram: @honeykidsasia Website: honeykidsasia.com Hit subscribe so you don't miss an episode. If this one resonated, share it with a parent who needs it. Growing Pains is produced in partnership with Poddster, Singapore's podcast studio. #TjinLee #GrowingPains #HoneyKidsAsia #MotherhoodJourney #WomenInBusiness #ImposterSyndrome #SingaporeEntrepreneurs #MomGuilt #SelfLoveJourney #ModernParenting #EmpoweredWomen #ThrivingInYour50s