The Career Mistake Parents Keep Making | Dr. Peter Kim | GSV S3 E19

Too much weight on what other people think still, and not, not enough weight on their child, children.

I mean, I think that's the simplest way I can put this, and in majority of the cases is what I see.

It's to do-- also to do with subjects as well, because a lot of the subjects have this, some sort of pedestal of looking amazing for other people.

You know, like in Korea, you either become a doctor or a lawyer or engineer.

You don't have any other choice.

If you, if you say you want to become an artist, which is exactly my case, actually.

I want, I wanted to become a pianist.

But they say, "No." And, and you ask, "Well, Mom and Dad, what's the reason for this?" And they would say, "Well, have you seen people not being able to make it in the world?" As in, you know, living on the streets.

And I say, "Yes, I, I do see them." "And that's what you'll be." It's dramatic, and it's wrong, but for some reason, growing up, and I think, you know, in the, in the 1950s, '40s, '50s and '60s of Korea has been extremely difficult.

I mean, you see Korea now as a very well-developed, technologically advanced country.

But back in our parents' and grandparents' age, they-- you know, you hear stories of people just dying from starvation, and things were really difficult then.

And therefore, because they've lived through that, and it's only been a generation of difference, you see.

It, it hasn't been many generations of seeing different things.

So they think that if you don't become a doctor, you know, you will not find a good job, and therefore, you know, it equates to not, not, not earning enough money to live in this very competitive world, right? So subject has been a very, very controversial, especially in Asian families coming to us and say, "Well, we want to make sure that he's either a dentist or a doctor." And I say, "Well, can I talk to your children first [chuckles] before we make that decision? Because I, I-- because from what I can see from the report, it says that he's very good at maths and science as well, as well as arts and geography and French and everything else.

So why don't I speak to them and say, you know, and, and actually look at what he's really good at, and w-well, other than that, what he's really enjoying doing, as well as what he's good at, before we make a, you know, a, a stern decision to what he wants to become." Sometimes family situations like, as you say, in an environment where I come into the family, I am not really a family member, and therefore, all I can give is my best advice according to what I can see and what I have experienced.

But sometimes it just doesn't, it doesn't work.

Still, you know, they say, "Well, thank you for your input, but we still decide to..." Even the, even if the students say, "I don't want to become that," you know, it's just, uh, how it is.

But in my opinion, I think that's the best thing that we can do just to give them a broader guidance and, and different career paths that they could go into.

At least I've done my part.

At least I've, I've talked to your children and, and I've assessed them and talked to them.

So that's the real challenge, I think.

I'm not here just trying to persuade anyone of any families of not going into, you know, be- making doctors, future doctors or, you know, dentists or lawyers.

But I think sometimes it happens later in the, in the life.

You know, it, it's funny because, um, some of the families that I, that I taught five or six years ago, they went into that path, that very rigid path of becoming a doctor.

And the student have told me, he said, "Well, I don't wanna become a doctor." And I say, "Well, talk to your parents," et cetera.