Sep 3, 2026 · 1 hr 1 min · 12 segments
Can you have **Relationship OCD (ROCD)** if you had a **"great" childhood**? It's one of the most common questions people ask when they find us. In this episode, we break down the childhood dynamics…
I think we have to talk about a couple of things.
We have to talk about loyalty to parents, which is one huge thing.
And we have to talk about that nobody gets through childhood unscathed.
nobody that's right it's actually it's actually if you zoom out and depending what you believe in from a spiritual from a spiritual perspective it needs to be this way you need to be able to be scathed because the scathing or the wounding is the vehicle for uh for transformation so so all parents are imperfect that's one thing um Some obviously more than others.
Trauma, we should talk about trauma, can be thought of in a couple of different ways.
I like to sum it up, which many others talk about too.
So this isn't my definition, but trauma is anything that happens that exceeds our capacity to deal with it or cope with it.
And why would it exceed our capacity to either deal with it or cope with it? Well, it could be too big.
It's usually too big.
And we're usually left alone in it.
And it's exactly that.
He just says it in a different way.
It's like... something difficult happened, anything like difficult can be, it can be a wide spectrum and there was not a loving witness.
Yeah.
There was not a loving witness to hold you, to listen to you.
You know, we often, you often might hear like, who did you tell after a difficult experience? And a lot of people say, I told no one until
anyone,
I was trying to avoid shame.
I felt, I don't know.
I internalized it that that creates trauma in your system when there wasn't a loving witness there to hold you and be with you in that.
That's right.
So trauma, it's something that happens that's difficult where we didn't have the support or resources to be able to process it or move through it, typically because nobody's there or we don't have any love that's present.
Or maybe they're there, but they disbelieve you or they, they're like, come on, it's fine.
You're fine.
I think we have to talk about a couple of things.
We have to talk about loyalty to parents, which is one huge thing.
And we have to talk about that nobody gets through childhood unscathed.
nobody that's right it's actually it's actually if you zoom out and depending what you believe in from a spiritual from a spiritual perspective it needs to be this way you need to be able to be scathed because the scathing or the wounding is the vehicle for uh for transformation so so all parents are imperfect that's one thing um Some obviously more than others.
Trauma, we should talk about trauma, can be thought of in a couple of different ways.
I like to sum it up, which many others talk about too.
So this isn't my definition, but trauma is anything that happens that exceeds our capacity to deal with it or cope with it.
And why would it exceed our capacity to either deal with it or cope with it? Well, it could be too big.
It's usually too big.
And we're usually left alone in it.
And it's exactly that.
He just says it in a different way.
It's like... something difficult happened, anything like difficult can be, it can be a wide spectrum and there was not a loving witness.
Yeah.
There was not a loving witness to hold you, to listen to you.
You know, we often, you often might hear like, who did you tell after a difficult experience? And a lot of people say, I told no one until
anyone,
I was trying to avoid shame.
I felt, I don't know.
I internalized it that that creates trauma in your system when there wasn't a loving witness there to hold you and be with you in that.
That's right.
So trauma, it's something that happens that's difficult where we didn't have the support or resources to be able to process it or move through it, typically because nobody's there or we don't have any love that's present.
Or maybe they're there, but they disbelieve you or they, they're like, come on, it's fine.
You're fine.
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