Oct 2, 2026 · 1 hr 15 min · 13 segments
We examine emotional defense mechanisms we developed in adolescence that once kept us safe but now keep people out. We identify common forms such as humorous deflection, hyper‑independence…
So Moby, I'm going to give you credit, man.
This question.
It's phenomenal yet tricky at the same time.
So, what are we going to talk about today? So, what is an emotional defense mechanism that you developed in childhood or adolescence to protect yourself that used to keep you safe but now just keep people out? Such as...
Things that men will display, like the humorous deflection shield, a.k.a. we joke to get ourselves out of trouble.
And tell me if I'm wrong when I'm saying this.
Hyper-independence, the I'll-do-it-myself law, intellectualization, and detachment.
I'm smarter than you, so I'm better than you.
and anticipatory withdrawal leaving you before you can be left do you fit any of these or do you fit more than one so moby what was the purpose of this question today there was no purpose it was just a random question so i would probably say i don't know man because i looked at it and i was just like I don't know that hyper independence, man.
I just, I'm all about doing shit myself.
I mean, even now I'm still about doing shit myself, man.
Because if it's going to take you just as long to get it done, then I'll just do it myself.
Because when it's all said and done, some things are more important and I need it done today.
Especially like when you're in a position of leadership and, hey, can you go knock this out for me? And then you remind yourself of, you know, when you were a child and mom had to come back multiple times to be like, yo, can you dump the trash? And stuff like that.
And I'm just like, man, I'll just do it myself.
Yeah, the leaving before you can be left thing, I have never experienced that.
Have you, Moby? What do you mean? Like, have you left somebody before they can leave you? I
don't know.
I don't really think that's really one of mine.
But, you know, I think the interesting thing about this question is that you probably aren't the best judge for yourself.
Because you just described the whole you'll do it yourself thing.
And I'm thinking to myself, that actually doesn't describe you at all.
But from your point of view, maybe you think it does.
Okay.
But I think that's the narrative or the character in your head of yourself that you've created.
So Moby, I'm going to give you credit, man.
This question.
It's phenomenal yet tricky at the same time.
So, what are we going to talk about today? So, what is an emotional defense mechanism that you developed in childhood or adolescence to protect yourself that used to keep you safe but now just keep people out? Such as...
Things that men will display, like the humorous deflection shield, a.k.a. we joke to get ourselves out of trouble.
And tell me if I'm wrong when I'm saying this.
Hyper-independence, the I'll-do-it-myself law, intellectualization, and detachment.
I'm smarter than you, so I'm better than you.
and anticipatory withdrawal leaving you before you can be left do you fit any of these or do you fit more than one so moby what was the purpose of this question today there was no purpose it was just a random question so i would probably say i don't know man because i looked at it and i was just like I don't know that hyper independence, man.
I just, I'm all about doing shit myself.
I mean, even now I'm still about doing shit myself, man.
Because if it's going to take you just as long to get it done, then I'll just do it myself.
Because when it's all said and done, some things are more important and I need it done today.
Especially like when you're in a position of leadership and, hey, can you go knock this out for me? And then you remind yourself of, you know, when you were a child and mom had to come back multiple times to be like, yo, can you dump the trash? And stuff like that.
And I'm just like, man, I'll just do it myself.
Yeah, the leaving before you can be left thing, I have never experienced that.
Have you, Moby? What do you mean? Like, have you left somebody before they can leave you? I
don't know.
I don't really think that's really one of mine.
But, you know, I think the interesting thing about this question is that you probably aren't the best judge for yourself.
Because you just described the whole you'll do it yourself thing.
And I'm thinking to myself, that actually doesn't describe you at all.
But from your point of view, maybe you think it does.
Okay.
But I think that's the narrative or the character in your head of yourself that you've created.
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