281- I Overshared, What Do I Do, And Forgiving Myself For These Thoughts

All right, so let's start with this questioner.

They say, Hi, Kevin.

Hope you are well and thank you so much for doing the podcast.

It is a great resource.

Thank you for listening.

All right.

They say, I was chatting with my friend last night and we were talking about OCD.

She knows I have it, but we ended up talking in more detail about my theme.

They put there parenthetically.

HOCD, which is more commonly these days known as sexual orientation or SOCD.

They said, but previously also TOCD, which is transgender OCD.

It's probably with a T, transgender, transgenderism, trans OCD, whatever you want to call it.

It's OCD about whether or not you are in fact a trans individual or will become a trans individual or underneath it all.

You get the idea.

All right.

They go on to say, I explained to her that a lot of it is worrying about that I really am a lesbian and I'm just in denial and I'm a homophobe and a bad person because I can't accept this truth.

And instead, I'm like, oh, it's OCD.

But also, then I worry people will think this about me too, and I don't want them to think that because maybe if they think it, it means something, and maybe it's more likely to be true.

I explained the thoughts, I explained the thoughts a lot in the OCD process, in the different forms, and I think she got it.

But afterwards, I'm just so anxious and like getting thoughts saying, she doesn't believe you or she thinks that you're gay.

She thinks that you're in denial and she's looking at you and saying she's so deep in the closet and it's just sad.

I said to her after I've spoken with you, she did not put quotes in this, and I should have gone afterwards and put the quotes in.

There is no parentheses, no quotes.

It is stream of thought.

I'm having to work with it.