Words Cannot Create Inner Safety
Supportive words matter less than genuine presence.
Aug 31, 2026 · 57 min · 11 segments
We haven't done one of these in a long time, so we sat down by the fire and answered your questions. Yours, all 6,500 plus of you who follow along on email and social, and Dawn's own following too…
First one, someone asks, how do you balance self-regulating your emotions with allowing your dom to support you? When you get needy or dysregulated, are you expected to work through it yourself or does he help you come back to center?
Well, first off, I think my answer is going to be a little unique, only in the way that we spend a lot of time together.
So it's really easy for us to be so in tune with each other and for us to have conversation quickly I can bring something to you in a different way than if you were away from home working a nine to five job, you know? So that has always been unique for us.
And honestly, a little bit of a crutch maybe sometimes because I could go to you very easily and be like, help, I'm feeling something.
And what I've learned along the way is I can't fix myself and you can't fix me either.
There's no fixing to be done.
What I've really learned to tune into is being with what is.
So dysregulated, I guess that isn't necessarily a word that has been in my vocabulary.
I name things more of what I am experiencing when I can.
And if I don't have a name for the emotion, it's I'm triggered or I'm afraid, you know? And so I always bring that to the forefront for myself and tune into what am I, feeling because I am the only person who can actually feel it and actually be with it.
And there have been times where you hold me, I cry on you, you hug me, but no words you say are going to change my experience.
It's not going to make it go away because that is the opposite of what I really want to do.
I have to sit with all of it and let it show me quote unquote, like in its own time.
I don't always love that phrase, but like I don't get to force it.
I don't get to rush it.
I get to receive from the sensation or the trigger.
And I have to be patient with myself and learn empathy and compassion.
And I've learned that when something like this is coming up, it's a piece of me that is still feeling something.
And that is from my child, my inner child.
And so I've learned how to hold myself, my child.
I've imagined being with myself.
I'm going to leave the answers all to you and not offer my input and perspective because that was beautiful and people want to hear from you.
So I could, that could be a whole episode.
I know.
And I'm going to try to like keep these a little bit precise and not go too in depth.
First one, someone asks, how do you balance self-regulating your emotions with allowing your dom to support you? When you get needy or dysregulated, are you expected to work through it yourself or does he help you come back to center?
Well, first off, I think my answer is going to be a little unique, only in the way that we spend a lot of time together.
So it's really easy for us to be so in tune with each other and for us to have conversation quickly I can bring something to you in a different way than if you were away from home working a nine to five job, you know? So that has always been unique for us.
And honestly, a little bit of a crutch maybe sometimes because I could go to you very easily and be like, help, I'm feeling something.
And what I've learned along the way is I can't fix myself and you can't fix me either.
There's no fixing to be done.
What I've really learned to tune into is being with what is.
So dysregulated, I guess that isn't necessarily a word that has been in my vocabulary.
I name things more of what I am experiencing when I can.
And if I don't have a name for the emotion, it's I'm triggered or I'm afraid, you know? And so I always bring that to the forefront for myself and tune into what am I, feeling because I am the only person who can actually feel it and actually be with it.
And there have been times where you hold me, I cry on you, you hug me, but no words you say are going to change my experience.
It's not going to make it go away because that is the opposite of what I really want to do.
I have to sit with all of it and let it show me quote unquote, like in its own time.
I don't always love that phrase, but like I don't get to force it.
I don't get to rush it.
I get to receive from the sensation or the trigger.
And I have to be patient with myself and learn empathy and compassion.
And I've learned that when something like this is coming up, it's a piece of me that is still feeling something.
And that is from my child, my inner child.
And so I've learned how to hold myself, my child.
I've imagined being with myself.
I'm going to leave the answers all to you and not offer my input and perspective because that was beautiful and people want to hear from you.
So I could, that could be a whole episode.
I know.
And I'm going to try to like keep these a little bit precise and not go too in depth.
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3 of 10
Words Cannot Create Inner Safety
Supportive words matter less than genuine presence.
Learning to Love Herself
Many people struggle to accept themselves fully.
Sit With the Discomfort
Lasting empowerment begins by facing inner discomfort.
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