BDSM
880
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186
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147
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Search complete. 880 mentions across 186 episodes found for "BDSM".
Oct 28, 2026
Kate BalestrieriGUEST
And certainly within a patriarchal culture, kink in general is about creating room for subversive experiences and anything that's outside of the norm.
Kate BalestrieriGUEST
So it may have consciously been born in the kink community and now lives as something that we understand to be Something that's, well, something that's more kinky than not, but a female-led relationship does not have to include any kind of kink or BDSM.
Annette BenedettiHOST
Right.
Annette BenedettiHOST
So then that brings us to the actual definition of female-led relationship.
9 MINS LATER
Kate BalestrieriGUEST
It doesn't have to be called that, but it is a lot more, what's the word, regulated in the sense that it's regulated by both of them and they have a map.
Kate BalestrieriGUEST
for what's going to happen and who's going to do what when.
Kate BalestrieriGUEST
So this third level of control is typically where there are more intentional aspects of kink play and specifically BDSM.
Kate BalestrieriGUEST
So sometimes that can look like bondage or chastity or orgasm control or humiliation aspects of their sex play.
Lena ConatserHOST
I know.
Lena ConatserHOST
And BDSM is in the queer community.
Lena ConatserHOST
No, who can? But that's the thing is, like, Drusilla was...
Lena ConatserHOST
the match to Spike's
SamHOST
thing? I mean, Stephen is not wrong that, like, that's just...
SamHOST
Like, even for, like, BDSM.
SamHOST
I don't know.
SamHOST
Someone please correct me, like, if you're into that.
Ben BrownGUEST
but it literally was like the equivalent what I can imagine of like sticking a needle in my arm and just pushing that drug right into my veins.
Ben BrownGUEST
And she and I ended up having like a one year long BDSM relationship
Kevin LanningHOST
Ben, welcome.
Kevin LanningHOST
You
42 MINS LATER
Ben BrownGUEST
I push her down on her knees.
Ben BrownGUEST
I start and pull her off and slapped her hard in the face.
Ben BrownGUEST
And as soon as I did that, I watched her eyes just go, like this feel this like look of ecstasy just came over her and it completely it did something to me it was literally like i've never done heroin but it literally was like the equivalent what i can imagine of like sticking a needle in my arm and just pushing that drug right into my veins and she and i ended up having like a one year long BDSM relationship that completely removed my performance anxiety.
Ben BrownGUEST
And I became addicted to that kind of sex.
Tom GriswoldHOST
That is true of this one.
Tom GriswoldHOST
We were discussing something, I believe, I forget, it involves, what is it, BDSM, bondage? Yeah, BDSM, right? Uh-huh.
Tom GriswoldHOST
And it was- Bondage disciplines.
Tom GriswoldHOST
The cages around a
Sarah BurtonHOST
It makes so much sense.
Sarah BurtonHOST
It's basically like the vampire pain is just like, that's BDSM.
SabrinaHOST
We're using the word fan fiction liberally here.
SabrinaHOST
It started as fan fiction and then
Clara MorrisHOST
turned into a book.
Clara MorrisHOST
It was
Sarah BurtonHOST
somebody who was like, I'm going to do the same exact story, but I'm going to put it, instead of vampires, I'm putting BDSM in it.
Sarah BurtonHOST
And then people liked it and the fan fiction, and then she turned it into a book.
VesperHOST
That should not be surprising.
VesperHOST
We talk about BDSM, power exchange, my articles, and the problems I see within the kink community quite often.
VesperHOST
More importantly, one of the reasons our dynamic works so well is precisely because we already share many of the same values and ideas about submission, authority, and what power exchange actually means.
VesperHOST
So this is not meant to be an objective explanation of what submission should look like for everyone.
VesperHOST
Do you consent to my controls? Okay, Skylar, give my listeners some baseline about your general personality, about your background, obviously, in just a general sense, not compromising your privacy, and how you got into kink in general and how you realized you are specifically a submissive.
SkylarGUEST
I am a gay woman who lives a long life.
SkylarGUEST
who found the BDSM, specifically DS world, many years ago when I was living in Germany.
SkylarGUEST
My first experience was at what they called an erotic fest, which was this whole world that I knew nothing about, but quickly became fascinated with, especially the DS side.
Edward VolklHOST
So in 2007, Rebecca Dwyer wrote a thesis for the University of Edinburgh.
Edward VolklHOST
They examine the terms of address used in BDSM.
Edward VolklHOST
Now, the research found something that was really important.
Edward VolklHOST
Titles can actively establish a relationship between people rather than just sort of describing a relationship that's already there, you know.
9 MINS LATER
Edward VolklHOST
And they can help us find that.
Edward VolklHOST
Also, titles obviously can symbolize commitment and responsibility within a DS relationship, and this was studied by Wignall and McCormick in 2026, and they published it in the Archives of Sexual Behavior that long-term DS relationships oftentimes come with a title involved.
Edward VolklHOST
However, there is, of course, the research did look at that long-term BDSM relationships do not all have titles involved.
Edward VolklHOST
So we should not assume that there is one true way and that true way is using titles.
Will FruinHOST
That is awesome because I know we spoke about this before we jumped on last time we spoke.
Will FruinHOST
was about how certain people use modalities like BDSM to reclaim their sexuality.
Will FruinHOST
Yeah.
Will FruinHOST
And how it is actually when you're able to regain that part of yourself that has been injured or actually been removed and how it could be a lot more, how would I say, where you could be able to look at it from multiple perspectives, especially when you're conversing with your partner or with other people.
Fran FryeGUEST
100%.
Fran FryeGUEST
And I think BDSM, just like bodies are not inherently sexual, BDSM is not inherently dangerous.
Fran FryeGUEST
And so I think there is such mystery behind it.
Fran FryeGUEST
But for your veteran audience and anyone that you support as a peer specialist, I think would greatly benefit from BDSM because it as you had mentioned in our previous call, the person in submission is actually the one in control.
Asia CorrineHOST
So if your husband is treating you like a piece of meat and is treating you disrespectfully and is mean to you and is careless with you during sex, I think that that is a bigger underlying issue of who he could truly actually be.
Asia CorrineHOST
Because there's a difference between engaging in consensual kink and fetishes where maybe there's a lot of BDSM involved.
Asia CorrineHOST
But anybody in the BDSM world who is a professional will tell you that consent is the most important thing.
Asia CorrineHOST
Understanding boundaries are the most important thing.
Asia CorrineHOST
And these like... male and female doms these subs and things like that in the BDSM industry and the BDSM world will tell you that safety is the most important aspect of them engaging in this type of play behavior right and so having a partner who doesn't respect your consent your bodily autonomy because he's telling you that sex is a duty and you're not even supposed to enjoy it in the first place yeah He's careless with you.
Asia CorrineHOST
He's rough.
Asia CorrineHOST
He's aggressive.
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