Anxiety, People Pleasing, and Self-Esteem (Episode 170)

Not everything is an anxiety disorder, but people pleasing and low self-esteem feed into it constantly. This week we talk about why the two overlap so heavily, and why learning to desensitize almost always requires putting yourself first, which can feel like the least safe thing in the world if pleasing people is how you've kept yourself safe. We get into what people pleasing actually looks like, from constant scanning of other people's moods to guilt as a baseline feeling, why it's usually a learned response rather than a personality trait, and why exposure work doesn't work without some baseline self-acceptance. We also talk about why the values underneath people pleasing, kindness, cooperation, and community, aren't the problem. It's when they become the only way you're allowed to exist. Plus Did It Anyway wins, including six flights taken through a lifelong fear of flying. \---- Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space https://disordered.fm/community \---- The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now: ⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠ \--- Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.  \----- Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠. https://disordered.fm \--- Disclaimer: Disordered  is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.