80. When Your Identity Changes Featuring Leo Dulay · DeriveInsights · Radar

When Identity Disappears1:06 – 3:40

1:06

Now, just before we dive into talking to-- we're talking about what I titled "The You Problem," the identity by design, uh, releasing the past, and when the identity disappeared.

1:20

And I think our first question will be coming from what I titled, "When the Identity Disappeared." You spent 22 years at AT&T before being laid off.

1:30

What happened to you internally when that identity suddenly disappeared?

1:35

That's, it's a great question, Itue.

1:38

It became the moment in my life that forced me to confront who I was without that job, the routine, and the identity I had built over 22 years.

1:50

Losing my career right before COVID stripped away that external structure I had relied on all my life.

1:58

For the first time in 22 years, I had asked-- had to ask myself a question I avoided: Who am I when everything familiar is gone? That disruption created space, uncomfortable space, but necessary space.

2:13

It pushed me into a deep self-reflection, into understanding subconscious patterns, and ultimately, the work I do now, which is hypnotherapy and NLP.

2:24

So this was just an, an ending.

2:26

It was a doorway to a new life, reinvention, and the realization that I wasn't my job anymore, and I wasn't my past.

2:34

Okay.

2:34

That's, uh, now thanks for sharing that and I would love to ask a final question to that, which you just added.

2:42

The question is, when did you realize the real challenge wasn't just finding another job?

2:48

Probably not at that moment.

2:50

Probably it was another year and a half when I found another job.

2:54

It was like internally I was living in a loop, you know, the same thoughts, same emotions, same identity.

3:02

Even after I found work again, I didn't feel like myself.

3:05

I felt disconnected, frustrated, and honestly, a little ashamed.

3:09

You know, I kept trying to change my circumstances, but my internal state hadn't changed.

3:15

I was still carrying that fear, that insecurity, and the unsecured emotions from the layoff from my-- in every new situation I had.

3:24

So it was about a year and a half of feeling like I was moving forward on paper, but not progressing internally.

3:30

So I would say that was eventually that pushed me to do more work into myself and start the transformation because I realized my environment wasn't the problem, my identity was.

When Identity Disappears1:06 – 3:40

1:06

Now, just before we dive into talking to-- we're talking about what I titled "The You Problem," the identity by design, uh, releasing the past, and when the identity disappeared.

1:20

And I think our first question will be coming from what I titled, "When the Identity Disappeared." You spent 22 years at AT&T before being laid off.

1:30

What happened to you internally when that identity suddenly disappeared?

1:35

That's, it's a great question, Itue.

1:38

It became the moment in my life that forced me to confront who I was without that job, the routine, and the identity I had built over 22 years.

1:50

Losing my career right before COVID stripped away that external structure I had relied on all my life.

1:58

For the first time in 22 years, I had asked-- had to ask myself a question I avoided: Who am I when everything familiar is gone? That disruption created space, uncomfortable space, but necessary space.

2:13

It pushed me into a deep self-reflection, into understanding subconscious patterns, and ultimately, the work I do now, which is hypnotherapy and NLP.

2:24

So this was just an, an ending.

2:26

It was a doorway to a new life, reinvention, and the realization that I wasn't my job anymore, and I wasn't my past.

2:34

Okay.

2:34

That's, uh, now thanks for sharing that and I would love to ask a final question to that, which you just added.

2:42

The question is, when did you realize the real challenge wasn't just finding another job?

2:48

Probably not at that moment.

2:50

Probably it was another year and a half when I found another job.

2:54

It was like internally I was living in a loop, you know, the same thoughts, same emotions, same identity.

3:02

Even after I found work again, I didn't feel like myself.

3:05

I felt disconnected, frustrated, and honestly, a little ashamed.

3:09

You know, I kept trying to change my circumstances, but my internal state hadn't changed.

3:15

I was still carrying that fear, that insecurity, and the unsecured emotions from the layoff from my-- in every new situation I had.

3:24

So it was about a year and a half of feeling like I was moving forward on paper, but not progressing internally.

3:30

So I would say that was eventually that pushed me to do more work into myself and start the transformation because I realized my environment wasn't the problem, my identity was.