Dear Abbey, stop waiting

The topic of today's episode is kind of an abstract one.

Not really, but I couldn't think of a perfect way to say it.

Today we're speaking about the idea that I think a lot of us have in our heads and whether it's consciously or subconsciously, we sometimes build up this person, this thing that we need to be.

And we won't stop and we almost feel like we're not able to rest until we are that thing or this perfect person.

Most of the time I say perfect person because most of the time it is this futuristic perfect version of ourselves.

And sometimes that can even just be physically.

We might feel like, oh, you know, my legs could improve on their physique.

I wish I had more abs.

I wish I had more curves, like whatever it is.

Sometimes we can possibly be constantly in our heads, maybe thinking of this ideal person that we need to be for some reason.

Sometimes what trickles down from that idea or that belief that there is this perfect future version of us that we need to attain, a couple of things trickle from that, I think, from what I observed.

One, we start to feel like the person we are now doesn't deserve the attention and the grace and the the investment, it feels like we're never doing it for this person that we're with right now, like yourself right now, exactly as you are.

No other idea, no other version of yourself, whatever, like you exactly right now.

Sometimes when we have this ideal version in ourselves, it's hard for us to invest in our Love ourselves now and I think people I fight with the idea of loving yourself for having compassion because I think it's an excuse or you're excusing all of the things that you know you want to work on but I actually think that but really.

from experience when you are just so mean to yourself or when you feel like you tell yourself you're not enough, not enough, not enough, your brain is occupied with all of these different negative thoughts and also these not helpful ideas and beliefs and self-limiting beliefs to the point where now we're actually not able to execute on the life that we want to live because we're so caught up in our heads that even if we That even if we actually did execute, we wouldn't even be able to feel in the moment with ourselves and be able to see what's actually happening in front of us.

Again, because we're caught up in our head.

So that's one part of what trickles down from this waiting till we're perfect thing.

idea.

The second thing that kind of trickles down from this type of a belief is the idea is I think we start to attach ourselves to other people's personas and we feel like we need to be other people or you might feel not even just inspired by other people but almost like a need to become something other than what you are and something that you're not or someone that you're not.

Sometimes this can be personality-wise, this can be lifestyle-wise, what your life looks like.

Sometimes we are even just thinking of an ideal physical version of ourselves.

And along with that can go to wanting to be and look like other people.

And I think especially as a woman, there's always this, there's a subconscious or conscious, I don't know, there's this, there's this war almost, that it feels like constantly is happening sometimes within ourselves.

And probably the older you get, the less you have this and the more I'm slowly getting fully past this like natural instinct.

to compare ourselves to other women, or to feel like it's a competition between the two.