Dear Abbey, here’s some ideas on how to help with burn out (Copy)

It just has sparked a lot of feelings of being inept and being less than ideal in a social situation.

Like I see people who are really good at talking to people, joking around, super relaxed, chill about it.

And I think it's awesome.

And I think it's amazing.

And I want to be more like that.

And sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not.

But this internal battle that I was having just reminded me of how much I needed to, A, I think just be... okay with the fact that I am not the best socially right now and sometimes I am sometimes I'm not but also to sit with the feelings that keep coming up when I am in social situations like the feeling of I want to connect but it's really hard for me to I think based on my past it's just hard to open up it's hard to but it's hard to like to really trust and believe that you can be close to someone and that doesn't end in something really bad.

But also, even if it did end in something bad, it's better, I think, to open up and to at least try to have these type of, you know, deep and long lasting connections.

And people can give advice on what you should do all day, but until you kind of sit with those feelings and try to understand and learn why and how and what you should experiencing and and why you feel a certain way I don't think it can change that much because I've because sometimes socially I feel like instead of performing it's it's better to just be honest but in regards to feeling less than others feeling not good enough sometimes it can feel like there's this place that we need to get and then we'll be able to love ourselves and then we'll be able to accept our flaws, accept ourselves.

Usually it's not like I can't wait to accept my flaws.

It's going to be like I can't wait till my flaws are all gone and I don't have any more of them and I act perfectly all the time.

That day never comes and so we never give that love to ourselves or seek love in the places that we believe we can find it.

One place that I think if you believe in God, like that you can find it is obviously in a relationship with God.

That can be really sound like a really big thing and scary and intimidating.

What even is that? What does that look like? How do you know? It's really just...

talking to something and hoping that they're there but also deep down choosing to believe that someone's listening to you like a god that god is listening to you that they're present he above anyone else loves you and understands you exactly as you are now there's no like blanket or there's no covering you need to put on to hide from him is what I believe like it feels really freeing to open yourself up and be like here I am I've never felt more accepted like spiritually and emotionally by anybody else more than I have been accepted and loved by God but that's all I'm going to share on that it's just hard I just would feel dishonest if I talked about how to kind of sit with these feelings and how to feel better and how to feel love for yourself again because for me that was a big part of my of getting back to that place of the simple feeling of love for myself and for everyone else but that was a huge part for me was I kind of had to face all of my things that made me kind of run away from God or my faith and It was really healing to do all of that, even though it was kind of scary and painful at first.

It helped like wash and melt things away that I had previously believed and was scared of and stuff like that.

I would have felt kind of dishonest if I didn't mention that because that was a big role for me.

Could be different for everybody.

So you can let that go in one ear and out the other.

And I don't know a lot, but I do know what has helped and what hasn't.

So to kind of go back a couple of steps, we can maybe feel not enough.

We can maybe feel like no matter what we do, we're never getting to this ideal person.

We're never getting to this ideal version of ourselves and you feel... devastated by it and sad you want to give up and you don't understand what the point is or you know whatever those thoughts are that are becoming more and more heavy keeping you down and also feeling like you don't belong or you're not accepted is really I think just primally doesn't is very scary and it's and sad and can make you really anxious.

Everybody wants to belong.