Oct 25, 2026 · 2 hr 18 min · 17 segments
TIMESTAMPS: 0:00:00 "The Town I Grew Up In Doesn't Exist" 0:51:22 "I Woke Up Knowing a Strange Word." 1:33:38 "The Pretty Boy Game."
So when this all started, I was a 13-year-old kid, two milkshakes down, strawberry and chocolate.
Both of them tasted off with a little too much extra whipped cream, but they were good.
Milkshakes were what I needed.
And as a mostly amateur junior detective...
It's not like I could sit next to a sophisticated woman and sip whiskey like in the movies.
Alcohol was off limits, so I had to drown my sorrows with either milkshakes or soda.
Soda was the dangerous choice, and so that left milkshakes.
I thought of the cherry on top as a slice of lemon in my alcoholic beverage.
My first mistake was thinking that I could drink two shakes without serious repercussions.
I downed them both as soon as I sat down, hoping to look cool.
Like oh wow, he's really going through it.
But instead, I just looked and felt constipated.
and now my gut was making some very interesting noises that I had to cough over.
My gut also told me that Eris Kane was going to murder me before any Middleview criminal.
Eris wasn't here, though.
I did my best to smile and wave, but I was exuding the wrong vibe.
And even worse, I was aware that I was grimacing.
I looked like a total a-hole.
I'm on a break, I finally snapped.
When heads quickly twisted back around, I found my confidence, holding up my empty shake.
They could glare at me all they wanted, but these people weren't going to say it to my face.
I'm sorry, am I not allowed to relax? I was trying and failing to swallow the sour-tasting cream when my phone had vibrated.
The sheriff contacted me.
He says that you've been snooping again.
I can't keep protecting you, Noah.
So when this all started, I was a 13-year-old kid, two milkshakes down, strawberry and chocolate.
Both of them tasted off with a little too much extra whipped cream, but they were good.
Milkshakes were what I needed.
And as a mostly amateur junior detective...
It's not like I could sit next to a sophisticated woman and sip whiskey like in the movies.
Alcohol was off limits, so I had to drown my sorrows with either milkshakes or soda.
Soda was the dangerous choice, and so that left milkshakes.
I thought of the cherry on top as a slice of lemon in my alcoholic beverage.
My first mistake was thinking that I could drink two shakes without serious repercussions.
I downed them both as soon as I sat down, hoping to look cool.
Like oh wow, he's really going through it.
But instead, I just looked and felt constipated.
and now my gut was making some very interesting noises that I had to cough over.
My gut also told me that Eris Kane was going to murder me before any Middleview criminal.
Eris wasn't here, though.
I did my best to smile and wave, but I was exuding the wrong vibe.
And even worse, I was aware that I was grimacing.
I looked like a total a-hole.
I'm on a break, I finally snapped.
When heads quickly twisted back around, I found my confidence, holding up my empty shake.
They could glare at me all they wanted, but these people weren't going to say it to my face.
I'm sorry, am I not allowed to relax? I was trying and failing to swallow the sour-tasting cream when my phone had vibrated.
The sheriff contacted me.
He says that you've been snooping again.
I can't keep protecting you, Noah.
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