Titles In BDSM and D/S: The Psychology Behind Them

And they're not just psychological.

Sometimes they are social.

And they also can help us understand why people become so deeply attached to them.

And at the same time, there are other people out there in the lifestyle who find them completely unnecessary.

So it's not like being involved means you have to want a title or give a title or use a pet name or be called by a pet name.

It's all really up to the individual.

And the research is actually fascinating.

So in 2007, Rebecca Dwyer wrote a thesis for the University of Edinburgh.

They examine the terms of address used in BDSM.

Now, the research found something that was really important.

Titles can actively establish a relationship between people rather than just sort of describing a relationship that's already there, you know.

And that's kind of fascinating.

And it got me thinking how one of the common red flags that people tell submissives to be aware of are the dominants that want a title right away.

They want to be called by an honorific.

And the research from the thesis shows that it actually can help establish or define relationship and so there's actual some reason reasoning why some dominance do this because going to the title right away and make somebody feel that there's a relationship they're sort of speeding the process along or perhaps hiding red flags so That is one of the things that really surprised me about this is since titles can help establish and in some cases even sort of be descriptors of a relationship, using a title right away can be a psychological tool to get somebody to perhaps overlook things or rush into a commitment that they're not quite ready for.

So it was fascinating to find out that there is some psychology behind this.

And I'm not saying that using a title right away or if somebody has a title that was given to them, say, by their community and using it or even using sir as a sign of respect to somebody who is a dominant isn't a bad thing.

Where the nefarious side of this comes into play is when the title is demanded right off the bat.

And you do see it a lot of times online where you'll see somebody who identifies as a dominant have in their profile, you will call me sir or you will call me master.

And that is a red flag.

And it's kind of fascinating that there is research that shows how using titles can help cause a person to feel that they are in a dynamic.

So that was actually fascinating that there is some research out there that shows how the use of a title can help make a dynamic sort of happen or feel more connected.

So that was absolutely fascinating.