The Most Asked BDSM Question? Opening The Door

So no role should, you know, keep you from talking to other people besides you're having a conversation it's not like she reached out to quote unquote hit on me she reached out because she had a differing viewpoint and wanted to talk about it which is fantastic so now let's dive in and talk about some tips for making a wonderful first impression first remember to start with your safe Even though it's just a first impression, do not compromise your own well-being, anything like that, in any attempt to get noticed.

Remember, the only person who can keep you safer is you.

So to make a good first impression, it does start with yourself.

And it starts with knowing what you're looking for.

Even if your answer is flexible or you're new, so you're not 100% sure, exactly what you're looking for but understand what you're looking for and what you can offer you know outside of just a lifestyle role or a lifestyle want let your personality your interest your humor and your life outside of the lifestyle show a little bit once again remember to do it safely you don't have to give away where you live or where you work or any of that stuff But it's important to know what you're looking for from somebody else and understand what, you know, you can offer.

And, you know, you do need to kind of let your personality and humor and interest all show through a little bit.

Because if not, you're just going to seem like, you know, the average profile since most of our connections do come online, even if you're active in a lifestyle community.

Most of the time, people tend to meet others online.

So with that profile being very important, just make sure it's genuine and about you.

It's not just all generic lifestyle terminology because we are not the sum of our kinks.

We are all unique humans, and I like that.

Do it however you want, but have something to say about yourself.

And another area that a lot of people tend to lean into is the old saying, sex sells.

And if you look through, say, FetLife, you find a lot of profiles of people who are looking, who are sort of marketing figures, marketing themselves and trying to market themselves in a sexy way that can cut both ways it can be good it can get you notice get you attention but it also can mean that you will run into a lot of people who are more enthused about your naughty bits than they are the person behind them so That's something to weigh when you consider making your first impression.

Gentlemen, I shouldn't have to say this, but try not to lead with a picture of your Maloney Coney.

It's not a good look.

Trust me on that one.

It is definitely not something to lead with, even if that's highlighting the area you are looking to pleasure through your interaction just don't so when you talk to somebody or you reach out make sure you actually are starting a conversation don't rely on like generic headlines or labels because that doesn't make you interesting and when you do start that conversation you know personalize your first message by showing you actually read the person's profile or whatever it was that caused them to grab your attention.

And when you do it, give the other person something to respond to.

You know, definitely avoid making demands, questions about sex or kink or sort of a any type of pressure in an opening message leave it very open and be honest with you know hey I'm saying hi because I saw your comment on so-and-so's post and it resonated with me and I was wondering how you felt about this you know kind of keep it balanced maybe share a little bit about yourself maybe ask a few questions so that it prompts them to respond if they want to And it also helps if you are trying to find a connection beyond something for play.

Even then, it still is great to talk about ordinary things rather than making it about the lifestyle.

Conversations are really a dime a dozen.

So, yeah, I would try and just be a human.

to them rather than try and be something kinktastic.

And if you do start having a conversation, you know, pay attention, make sure it flows naturally, make sure you're not having to be the one to push it.