Chatting With The Lightkeeper | Your Ultimate Guide To Exploring BDSM, D/S, And Kink
Aug 18, 2026 · 32 min · 8 segments
When it comes to exploring kinks, everyone makes mistakes, so don’t look at the title and think “Oh god, here is a lecture on mistakes.” Look, this is not a lecture, a stern talking-to, nor another…
Edward VolklHost
And one of the first things that, that I kept seeing was that, um, somehow people who are newer, um, they sort of put experienced folks up on, up on a platform.
And while it's true, some people who have been around for a while do have a huge store of knowledge, and, and many of them are, are happy to share, which is wonderful.
Um, you could have somebody who, say, for example, is an experienced auto mechanic and still do crap work or take advantage of customers.
And in the world of kink, um, sometimes people who are newer tend to think that experienced people, um, have learned from their mistakes.
And because they have experience where they've been involved in a community, they don't violate boundaries.
Yes, there are many, many outstanding people with experience in the lifestyle, um, but experience doesn't mean somebody is safe to engage with.
No matter what somebody says their experience is or even if they have a proven track record where they can prove they've been involved in a community for X, Y, and Z, um, don't, don't let that stop you from doing your homework, from doing, doing your vetting.
Another thing that is interesting that I found is that we like to attach labels to ourselves right out of the gate when we first start exploring.
Oh man, you know, I just started going down the, the DS rabbit hole, and man, I know I'm a dominant, or I'm a submissive, or I'm a switch.
And being interested in something doesn't mean you have to adopt an identity or become part of any community.
Um, my advice is if you're newer, spend some time with some quality self-reflection.
It'll help you better navigate things once you are, you know, once you're in, in the pool of the lifestyle.
And one of the first things that, that I kept seeing was that, um, somehow people who are newer, um, they sort of put experienced folks up on, up on a platform.
And while it's true, some people who have been around for a while do have a huge store of knowledge, and, and many of them are, are happy to share, which is wonderful.
Um, you could have somebody who, say, for example, is an experienced auto mechanic and still do crap work or take advantage of customers.
And in the world of kink, um, sometimes people who are newer tend to think that experienced people, um, have learned from their mistakes.
And because they have experience where they've been involved in a community, they don't violate boundaries.
Yes, there are many, many outstanding people with experience in the lifestyle, um, but experience doesn't mean somebody is safe to engage with.
No matter what somebody says their experience is or even if they have a proven track record where they can prove they've been involved in a community for X, Y, and Z, um, don't, don't let that stop you from doing your homework, from doing, doing your vetting.
Another thing that is interesting that I found is that we like to attach labels to ourselves right out of the gate when we first start exploring.
Oh man, you know, I just started going down the, the DS rabbit hole, and man, I know I'm a dominant, or I'm a submissive, or I'm a switch.
And being interested in something doesn't mean you have to adopt an identity or become part of any community.
Um, my advice is if you're newer, spend some time with some quality self-reflection.
It'll help you better navigate things once you are, you know, once you're in, in the pool of the lifestyle.
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