The Confidence Myth

Today's conversation isn't really about auditions, honestly.

It's about something much bigger.

It's about the relationship you have with yourself, and that relationship quietly walks into every audition before you do.

You know, I can't count the number of times I've heard an actor say, "Jeff, I just wish I had more confidence." Maybe you've said something similar.

Maybe you've thought, "If I were only more confident, I would audition better.

I'd get more callbacks.

I'd stop second-guessing myself.

I'd finally feel like I belong in this business." Guess what? I understand.

I've thought those same things myself, but here's what I've learned.

Confidence isn't something you go out and find.

It isn't hidden behind the perfect acting class or the perfect agent or the perfect self-tape setup.

Confidence is something much quieter than that, and I think we've mistaken it for something it was never meant to be.

That's what I call the confidence myth.

So let's talk about this for a second.

What picture comes into your mind when you hear the word confidence? Now, most people imagine someone who walks into a room with, oh, I don't know, perfect posture, a firm handshake, great eye contact, never seems nervous, always knows exactly what to say.

Now, we've all met people like that, or at least we've met people who appear that way.

But here's what's interesting.

Some of the most confident actors I've ever cast were among the quietest.

They weren't trying to impress anyone.

They weren't performing confidence.

They were simply present.

Meanwhile, I've seen actors walk into auditions with enormous personalities, big smiles, big energy, big handshakes, big voices, and underneath all of that, they were terrified.

Sometimes what we call confidence is actually performance.

We're acting confident, not feeling confident.

And believe me, casting directors can usually tell the difference.