Millennial Moms & Dads: Becoming the Parent You Never Had #451

You know, one thing I really wanna circle back to, um, is kinda what we started with, was, um, the parents', um, involvement in all of this, and how their emotions and their baggage and how everything they bring to the table affects the parenting.

And it, like you mentioned kind of when we started, um, it's not so much about controlling how they're reacting, it's about controlling what, you know, how we're reacting to the situation.

So maybe you can just leave us with a few thoughts on how parents can be more aware or start working on what they're bringing to, um, the table and how they can, you know, use that to leverage to, uh, work on their discipline with their kids and not necessarily focusing so much on what their kids are doing in the situation.

Perfect.

By the way, tell your mom that she raised a very bright daughter who asks-

Oh

... amazing questions, and, like, you process and you come back to things.

Like, you're organized in your interviewing and it, it makes it so much easier for me, so that's another gift that you have.

Thanks.

Um, okay, so I think, you know, you've been through our program, and you don't have to go through our program, but that 30 Days to Calm, the idea is, hey, for the next 30 days, let's not focus...

Let's make it shorter.

Moms and dads, for the next week or two, watch.

Start to kind of even, um, write down the interactions that, that, uh, you struggle with, common ones.

Okay, my, my son or daughter resists.

When they resist and say no to me right away, what do you feel? Well, I feel guilty because I never said that to my parents.

My parents think that I'm letting my kids get away with things.

That creates resentment in me, because I do way too much for my kids, and all I ask them to do is one simple thing.

So almost like journaling it, or for the engineer people out there, diagram it.

So I get resistance from my child.

That triggers all these different feelings inside of me.

Then I react out of those feelings and I lecture, I yell, I repeat myself 15 times.

Well, then diagram how does my child react to that? They shut down.

They dig in more.

And so my, I hate using the word hack, but kind of my hack for this is then do, try doing the opposite of what you normally are doing for the next week, because what you're doing [laughs] right now isn't working.

You're getting the exact opposite response that you want.