Jul 19, 2026 · 52 min · 20 segments
This week, Alex discusses the ways we unknowingly self-sabotage our relationships, careers, and happiness. She dives into why stability can feel uncomfortable, how fear of failure keeps us stuck, and…
Alex CooperHost
Um, which kind of I feel like is a nice little segue into the topic that I want to address today, which is the toxic relationship that you literally cannot block on Instagram, you can try to ignore, but it only works for so long.
This is too deep for a Sunday." Um, so many of you guys wrote in and asked me to talk about this topic today, actually.
I asked you topically what you would want me to discuss, and this is one of those topics that everyone, every other DM was like, "Hit this topic." And so I ended up having a lot of really long, interesting conversations with my friends about it.
So I wanna start by all of us being really honest with ourselves today, okay? This is a safe space.
Um, to the single or non-single girlies, I want you to think if you have ever finally met a stable, amazing person who actually texts you back, and your immediate response is, "Whoa, okay, this is, like, kinda boring.
I kinda miss the chase," and then you ghost that person for a toxic narcissist, whether that be your ex or just, like, a new piece of [censored] you met.
Um, another one, have you ever gotten a massive career opportunity only to procrastinate until the absolute last second, hand in mediocre work, and be like, "See, I knew I couldn't do it.
Like, I knew it wasn't for me"? [sighs] I'm gonna hit you with the hard truth, daddy gang.
That is called self-sabotage, and today we are going to be talking about self-sabotage because you all wanted me to talk about it, and I basically want to expose the psychological war we wage on ourselves when it comes to this issue.
We're gonna actually try to figure out how we get out of our own way and solve this extremely large problem.
You're all waking up with the scaries being like, "I did that last night." Let's get into it.
So when I was talking about this with my friends, something I realized that was quite sobering in my opinion, is that the sneakiest thing about self-sabotage is it doesn't really feel like you're ruining your life at the moment.
It actually feels like you're protecting yourself, right? Like, it almost feels like a defense mechanism disguised as intuition.
Um, which kind of I feel like is a nice little segue into the topic that I want to address today, which is the toxic relationship that you literally cannot block on Instagram, you can try to ignore, but it only works for so long.
This is too deep for a Sunday." Um, so many of you guys wrote in and asked me to talk about this topic today, actually.
I asked you topically what you would want me to discuss, and this is one of those topics that everyone, every other DM was like, "Hit this topic." And so I ended up having a lot of really long, interesting conversations with my friends about it.
So I wanna start by all of us being really honest with ourselves today, okay? This is a safe space.
Um, to the single or non-single girlies, I want you to think if you have ever finally met a stable, amazing person who actually texts you back, and your immediate response is, "Whoa, okay, this is, like, kinda boring.
I kinda miss the chase," and then you ghost that person for a toxic narcissist, whether that be your ex or just, like, a new piece of [censored] you met.
Um, another one, have you ever gotten a massive career opportunity only to procrastinate until the absolute last second, hand in mediocre work, and be like, "See, I knew I couldn't do it.
Like, I knew it wasn't for me"? [sighs] I'm gonna hit you with the hard truth, daddy gang.
That is called self-sabotage, and today we are going to be talking about self-sabotage because you all wanted me to talk about it, and I basically want to expose the psychological war we wage on ourselves when it comes to this issue.
We're gonna actually try to figure out how we get out of our own way and solve this extremely large problem.
You're all waking up with the scaries being like, "I did that last night." Let's get into it.
So when I was talking about this with my friends, something I realized that was quite sobering in my opinion, is that the sneakiest thing about self-sabotage is it doesn't really feel like you're ruining your life at the moment.
It actually feels like you're protecting yourself, right? Like, it almost feels like a defense mechanism disguised as intuition.
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