Ep. 4 Pregnancy and Infant Loss and How We Fail Families

In honor of **Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month** and **Remembrance Day (October 15th)**, co-hosts **Laura Todd** and **Carina Lane** hold space for a necessary conversation about pregnancy and infant loss. As maternal and infant mental health specialists, Laura and Carina pull back the curtain on why this specific type of grief is so deeply misunderstood in our society. Sharing both professional clinical insights and personal reflections, they unpack the ambiguity of miscarriage and stillbirth. This episode acts as a gentle roadmap for navigating attachment, subsequent pregnancies, and family dynamics after a loss. Whether you are a grieving parent, a supportive friend, or a provider carrying your own triggers into the therapy room, this conversation offers validation, advice, and practical tools for honoring real grief without running away from it. **In this episode, we explore:** - **The Invisible Village:** Breaking down society’s deep discomfort with grief, the severe lack of systemic workplace protections, and why pregnancy loss is so isolating. - **The Imagined Baby:** Exploring how bonding and attachment can begin the moment a parent learns they are pregnant, making any loss real regardless of the timeline. - **Ditching Harmful Platitudes:** Why common phrases like *"you can always try again"* or *"at least you already have a child"* minimize a family's experience of grief. - **Grief in Early Childhood:** Practical guidance on how to navigate the heartbreaking task of explaining death and pregnancy loss to young children based on their developmental stages. - **Holding Both Joy and Devastation:** Navigating the emotional weight carried by therapists who support clients through loss while managing their own grief triggers. **Resources & Recommendations Mentioned in This Episode:** - **Laura’s Recommendation:** The Great British Baking Show - **Carina’s Recommendation:** Loss of a Sibling Due to Termination For Medical Reasons by Katrina Villegas **Timestamps:** - **\[01:08]** - Opening the episode and naming Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month - **\[02:31]** - Why society struggles to support grief and loss - **\[03:17]** - Why pregnancy and infant loss can feel especially sudden and hard to explain - **\[04:07]** - The ambiguity of miscarriage and the pain of not knowing why - **\[05:28]** - Harmful platitudes that dismiss real loss - **\[06:57]** - The imagined baby and the attachment that begins during pregnancy - **\[08:30]** - Why grief has no timeline and keeps returning over time - **\[09:22]** - Why acknowledgment, naming, and rituals matter after loss - **\[09:57]** - Pregnancy after loss and the anxiety of trying again - **\[10:33]** - Explaining death and loss to young children - **\[12:41]** - How developmental stage shapes a child’s understanding of loss - **\[13:34]** - Parenting through grief while still caring for living children - **\[14:38]** - The impact of loss on partner relationships and family attachment - **\[15:30]** - Cultural beliefs, traditions, and support around pregnancy loss - **\[17:18]** - Setting boundaries with family when support feels harmful - **\[19:09]** - Therapists’ own grief, triggers, and emotional reactions in session - **\[20:38]** - Holding both celebration and devastation with clients - **\[21:24]** - The emotional weight of grief work for therapists - **\[22:49]** - Weekly recommendations start - **\[23:06]** - Laura’s recommendation: The Great British Baking Show - **\[24:16]** - Carina’s recommendation: children’s grief books for pregnancy and infant loss - **\[25:27]** - Wrap up and closing reminders **Hit that FOLLOW or SUBSCRIBE button right now** so you never miss an episode! **Connect with us online:** - **Instagram:** @bondedfromthestartpod - **Email:** bondedfromthestartpod@gmail.com **Meet Laura Todd:** - **Website:** lauratoddlpcc.com - **Instagram:** @the\_infant\_therapist - **TikTok / YouTube:** @the\_infant\_therapist **Meet Carina Lane:** - **Website:** mindfulstarts.com - **Instagram:** @mindfulstarts *Theme music composed by:* Kevin Bryson