Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! It’s episode 40, which is apparently a whole pregnancy’s worth of us running our mouths, and this week we’re doing it with tequila shots at an 8:30 a.m. charity breakfast, a spontaneous road trip to Georgia, and a Christmas tree already up on the kitchen counter. We kick things off with why we’d rather scrub our baseboards with a toothbrush than step foot in a haunted house, followed by Aunt Denise’s phone call that left us wondering if you should always check the dryer before you hit start. (The cat is fine. Mostly. Probably.) Then we get into assembling a balcony chair and feeling like we could build an ark, why we both failed math, and our deep love of a good PowerPoint.
Somewhere along the way, we debate whether you really need to dress for success, why a southern woman doesn’t leave the house without her lip liner, and our very strong feelings about pimple patches on the food industry, dogs in the grocery store, and the Cracker Barrel gift shop being the closest thing to heaven on earth. We also announce that we’re taking two shows to Nashville Comedy Fest on April 15th, tease a big announcement coming in the second week of November, and debut our brand-new Bloodline Q&A, where we cover ideal days of eating, our most overrated vacation spots, and the great Dancing With the Stars debate. Cousin Council is back in session, too, with a rock-solid answer for the girl with the cheating baby daddy and a very clever bathroom-accident cover-up that deserves an award.
Basically, we’re doing a lot of talking and not saying anything important. If you’ve ever wanted to call a motivational speaker’s bluff, been mad at a Walmart shopper’s Chihuahua, or just want to see what happens when the Cracker Barrel gift shop hates to see you coming, this episode is for you.
Love y’all. Bye!
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