Davey Lloyd (The Bachelorette) on Addiction, Getting Sober & Learning Who He Is Without The Masks

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text On day one of filming The Bachelorette, Davey Lloyd walked into the mansion to meet Sam Frost off a three-day bender, running on no sleep, about to be the first man she'd ever meet.  Nine years later he'd be lying on a footpath, clinically dead, while his friends tried and failed to bring him back with CPR before the ambulance got there in time — and even that wasn't enough to stop him.  Davey is a former reality TV star, two years sober, and the author of a memoir about what it actually took to put that version of himself down for good. This isn't really a story about drugs. It's a story about performance — the version of yourself you build so nobody, including you, ever has to look underneath it. Danielle and Davey talk about undiagnosed ADHD, why the loudest person in the room is usually the most hurt, becoming a bully at school to feel seen, three overdoses, the morning he finally surrendered, and what it's taken to learn to cry, forgive himself, and let his parents back in. **Chapters** - 0:00 — Cold open: The Bachelorette bender - 1:30 — Welcome and introduction - 3:00 — Life before The Bachelorette - 8:00 — The party persona and undiagnosed ADHD - 14:00 — "I didn't love myself at all" — where the pain came from - 21:00 — Becoming the bully: the root of the performance - 27:00 — Three overdoses and the night he surrendered - 34:00 — What healing actually looked like - 42:00 — Rebuilding trust with his parents - 47:00 — Learning to feel again - 51:00 — Writing Tin Man and the fear of being seen - 54:00 — Addiction isn't just drugs - 60:00 — Closing thoughts - 63:00 — Danielle's reflection: two thinking points - 68:00 — Outro and where to find Davey **Key Takeaways** - Performance is armour. It protects you from being seen. - Addiction stems from a lack of self-love. - Addiction doesn't have to look like drugs. Phones, busyness, distraction can serve the exact same function. - Rebuilding trust after you've hurt people you love takes years, and forgiving yourself is part of the work, not a reward at the end of it. **FAQs** *How many times did Davey Lloyd overdose?*Three times. The third time, his heart stopped — friends attempted CPR until paramedics arrived and revived him. *What is Davey Lloyd's book, Tin Man, about?*A memoir covering his years on reality TV, his addiction, and the eight-step framework he developed in recovery. *Is Davey Lloyd still sober?*Yes — two years sober at the time of this recording. **Resources** - **Pre-order his ebook today** - Tin Man: Why I Traded Sex, Drugs & Parties for Sobriety — available on ⁠Amazon⁠ You can find more of ⁠Davey on his Instagram page⁠ **Find more Danielle on her website -**  - More from Danielle: ⁠daniellecolley.com.au⁠ - Or go and say hi on Instagram - ⁠@iamdaniellecolley⁠ or ⁠@bigstuffpodcast⁠ If this one landed for you, send it to someone who needs to hear it — you never know who's sitting in their own car right now, music cranked, not realising it yet.  Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and leave a comment — it genuinely helps the show find more ears.