Humility or Erasure? What Grief Taught Me About Friendships

And I am going to now talk a little bit about the Closing Loops episode that I did right before this happened.

So it was my last episode.

And I talked a lot about personally, I just can't handle loose ends.

Like when you have to guess what's going on with this situation, whether it's a business person, whether it's a dating scenario, which I hardly ever date.

But I try to be, you know, communicative and direct.

Friendship stuff, no matter what it is, when there's an issue or something's open-ended, I just always try to close the loop.

And and say how I feel about something instead of just ghosting and I'm not talking about irritating solicitors business scenarios where people are just trying to sell you something I'm talking about people that you know that you know you've had drinks with lunch with you know that you would consider somebody in your life and when family members gosh Your own family can be the first ones sometimes to just ghost you for no reason, refuse to tell you why.

Yeah, it's just toxic, and I feel like it's abusive.

And I've talked before about I keep coming back to the rice experiment and how, like, They did the three different experiments with rice and the ignored rice was the worst.

It rotted and molded.

And I feel like the being ignored, it's just a huge trigger to me.

And it's not that I need all this attention because I do not.

I just cannot tolerate being erased.

And I don't like to say the older I get, as I get older, those are not things I generally say.

But when you go through more life experiences, because you've been around longer, you just see patterns and you just learn.

And one of the things that I've learned going off on a little tangent here, is I listen to my intuition now like immediately.

And I get such clear signs about everything all the time.

So clear, like just pulling into Safeway, wanting to pick up this prescription.

And the car in front of me will say BWP.

And BW for me means beware.

P means Usually if it's initial, I'll ask, what's P? And I'll get more information.

But then I'm like, oh, prescription.

So I knew it was going to be a cluster trying to get it right then.

And it was like, I'm told beforehand.

And with big things, medium things, small things, all things.